MAKE WAY FOR 2008

One more day left and 2007 will mark its end. 2008, WELCOME!

2007 was considerably a memorable one for me, besides meeting lots of diversed people outside of my world, i've also learned lots of things in life that I never imagined learning from them. While i was ruminating on my past and present, i've realized that i wasn't aware of how i seized my goals, that there are still pieces of cues left wandering and trying to find its roots for fulfillment.
Guess its part of the nature being human, and having a ground of being christians gives me a positive guilt to the pursuit of happiness.
Another year has passed, and most of us took chances on how we live our lives to the fullest, and yet another year to come,with such uncertainties ahead..I know each one of us has its own time in this world we live in, and only God knows when according to what he has designed for us.

Lord, i thank YOU for giving me the strenght to go on living everyday despite of all the uncertainties i have in life and for this, i lift up to YOU all of us here on earth. May we all continue to praise and thank YOU for all the blessings we've received and are yet to come, this i asked in YOUR HOLY name..AMEN.

I wish this 2008... let us strive to see what is good because there is goodness even in the most wicked person and the storm will pass once the sun appears in the sky...
blessed be.

Point and shoot

That's right.. Don't ask.. just point and shoot!! that's how I see it. Some people don't bother asking questions. They just make things up with their brilliant mind of theirs.

What if you saw someone standing a dead body? Was he the killer? Don't judge.. He may have just passed the crime scene.. I dunno about you.. but i'd say the criminal might laughing his ass out..

What if you saw a man pick up a wallet on the street a woman was shouting "where's my wallet??" damn you prick.. give him a good shot to the liver maybe? Then you'll realize he was just helping find the thing and being a show-off that you are, you whacked the poor guys ass.. Insolent dickwad.

I dunno.. I guess my point here is that it never hurts to ask.. I always do. I don't assume things. coz if we derive it:

ASSUME = ASS + U + ME

See, by assuming, u make an ass out of you and that person.

Why are you reading this? I bet you're a sucker!!

Neat.

Paramore

I woke up to a lousy morning.
Much to my chagrin, the rest of my day followed the same pattern.

When something bad happens over and over again,
don't you think it's time to consider the possibility
that you're doing something wrong?
Don't you think these recurring patterns
are a strong indication that change is needed?

And what do you do?
You just sit down, pat yourself on your shoulder,
and just say that you cannot change
because this is who you are?

I am way beyond fuming angry.
I am sad. I am pained.
Pained at the thought that such change can be so elusive,
in spite of the fact that the lack of which pains me so.

"Maybe if my heart stops beating,
it won't hurt this much.
& never will I have to answer again to anyone."
-Paramore

Being Poor

Being poor is the ultimate opportunity handed by a person. Being poor is no excuse for being filthy & uneducated. Being poor is no excuse for living in a dirty house & wearing dirty clothes. Being poor is no excuse for living surrounded by clutter & garbage. Being poor means that,. if u cant presently afford University/College you can still educate yourself until such time as that goal is within your reach.
Being poor means being sorrounded by necessities, Being rich means sorrounded by "things".
When your rich you can buy perceived happiness but when your poor you make ur own happiness.
Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouths & some have to go looking for it. They end up a better people for chasing after it because they have to learn valuable lessons along the way.
Being poor means you start at the bottom & work your way up..I know its hard to work your way up, but the trip worth the effort. You ll never forget what you learned along the way.
Being poor means you have to give back to life, something to look up to, something to achieve.
Whereas,. when your rich you are always looking down. Stop saying I'm poor, poor, poor!!!!!!!!
Pretty soon you'll begin to believe it..Start saying I am a temporary financial disadvantage right now but I can do something about it.

Whatever happens...happens

What will you do if you're not happy with your relationship anymore? Should you choose to stay & save the relationship? Or choose the other way around? Either way, you still have to make a choice.. If you choose to stay, make sure that you can work through it & not just to let it stay that way. Being unhappy means that the spark is almost gone. If you wanted to save your relationship, find ways to lit it up. But question is, "how?". I'm so tired of this shit! I'm so tired of understanding why this relationship doesn't seem to work out the way it should be. I'm beginning to question if love still exist here... It's so annoying to think that you're attached with someone (physically) but it seems like you're not (emotionally)... I hate to think that you does'nt give a damn about me! Oh yeah, on the contrary, I think you do, because you said so... Sheesh! I don't even feel like you cared that much... Why am I feeling like I'm taken for granted? I won't be feeling this way if you knows how to handle this relationship... Sometimes I think I'd rather be free... But some thing's trying to pull me back when I feel like talking about these things... Maybe, it's because I'm still hoping for a change? Will there be a change? Nah! I don't think so... Right now, I'm still sticking to: "whatever happens, happens..."

Little Girl's Christmas: A Christmas Fairy Tale

It was Christmas Eve, and Little Girl had just hung up her stocking by the fireplace--right where it would be all ready for Santa when he slipped down the chimney. She knew he was coming, because--well, because it was Christmas Eve, and because he always had come to leave gifts for her on all the other Christmas Eves that she could remember, and because she had seen his pictures everywhere down town that afternoon when she was out with Mother. Still, she wasn't JUST satisfied. 'Way down in her heart she was a little uncertain--you see, when you have never really and truly seen a person with your very own eyes, it's hard to feel as if you exactly believed in him--even though that person always has left beautiful gifts for you every time he has come. "Oh, he'll come," said Little Girl; "I just know he will be here before morning, but somehow I wish--" "Well, what do you wish?" said a Tiny Voice close by her--so close that Little Girl fairly jumped when she heard it. "Why, I wish I could SEE Santa myself. I'd just like to go and see his house and his workshop, and ride in his sleigh, and know Mrs. Santa--'would be such fun, and then I'd KNOW for sure." "Why don't you go, then?" said Tiny Voice. "It's easy enough. Just try on these Shoes, and take this Light in your hand, and you'll find your way all right." So Little Girl looked down on the hearth, and there were two cunning little Shoes side by side, and a little Spark of a Light close to them--just as if they were all made out of one of the glowing coals of the wood-fire. Such cunning Shoes as they were--Little Girl could hardly wait to pull off her slippers and try them on. They looked as if they were too small, but they weren't--they fitted exactly right, and just as Little Girl had put them both on and had taken the Light in her hand, along came a little Breath of Wind, and away she went up the chimney, along with ever so many other little Sparks, past the Soot Fairies, and out into the Open Air, where Jack Frost and the Star Beams were all busy at work making the world look pretty for Christmas. Away went Little Girl--Two Shoes, Bright Light, and all--higher and higher, until she looked like a wee bit of a star up in the sky. It was the funniest thing, but she seemed to know the way perfectly, and didn't have to stop to make inquiries anywhere. You see it was a straight road all the way, and when one doesn't have to think about turning to the right or the left, it makes things very much easier. Pretty soon Little Girl noticed that there was a bright light all around her--oh, a very bright light--and right away something down in her heart began to make her feel very happy indeed. She didn't know that the Christmas spirits and little Christmas fairies were all around her and even right inside her, because she couldn't see a single one of them, even though her eyes were very bright and could usually see a great deal. But that was just it, and Little Girl felt as if she wanted to laugh and sing and be glad. It made her remember the Sick Boy who lived next door, and she said to herself that she would carry him one of her prettiest picture-books in the morning, so that he could have something to make him happy all day. By and by, when the bright light all around her had grown very, very much brighter, Little Girl saw a path right in front of her, all straight and trim, leading up a hill to a big, big house with ever and ever so many windows in it. When she had gone just a bit nearer, she saw candles in every window, red and green and yellow ones, and every one burning brightly, so Little Girl knew right away that these were Christmas candles to light her on her journey, and make the way dear for her, and something told her that this was Santa's house, and that pretty soon she would perhaps see Santa himself. Just as she neared the steps and before she could possibly have had time to ring the bell, the door opened--opened of itself as wide as could be--and there stood--not Santa himself--don't think it--but a funny Little Man with slender little legs and a Roley-poly stomach which shook every now and then when he laughed. You would have known right away, just as Little Girl knew, that he was a very happy little man, and you would have guessed right away, too, that the reason he was so roly-poly was because he laughed and chuckled and smiled all the time--for it's only sour, cross folks who are thin and skimpy. Quick as a wink, he pulled off his little peaked red cap, smiled the broadest kind of a smile, and said, "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Come in! Come in!" So in went Little Girl, holding fast to Little Man's hand, and when she was really inside there was the jolliest, reddest fire all glowing and snapping, and there were Little Man and all his brothers and sisters, who said their names were "Merry Christmas," and "Good Cheer," and ever so many other jolly-sounding things, and there were such a lot of them that Little Girl just knew she never could count them, no matter how long she tried. All around her were bundles and boxes and piles of toys and games, and Little Girl knew that these were all ready and waiting to be loaded into Santa's big sleigh for his reindeer to whirl them away over cloud tops and snowdrifts to the little people down below who had left their stockings all ready for him. Pretty soon all the little Good Cheer Brothers began to hurry and bustle and carry out the bundles as fast as they could to the steps where Little Girl could hear the jingling bells and the stamping of hoofs. So Little Girl picked up some bundles and skipped along too, for she wanted to help a bit herself--it's no fun whatever at Christmas unless you can help, you know--and there in the yard stood the BIGGEST sleigh that Little Girl had ever seen, and the reindeer were all stamping and prancing and jingling the bells on their harnesses, because they were so eager to be on their way to the Earth once more. She could hardly wait for Santa to come, and just as she had begun to wonder where he was, the door opened again and out came a whole forest of Christmas trees, at least it looked just as if a whole forest had started out for a walk somewhere, but a second glance showed Little Girl that there were thousands of Christmas sprites, and that each one carried a tree or a big Christmas wreath on his back. Behind them all, she could hear some one laughing loudly, and talking in a big, jovial voice that sounded as if he were good friends with the whole world. And straightway she knew that Santa himself was coming. Little Girl's heart went pit-a-pat for a minute while she wondered if Santa would notice her, but she didn't have to wonder long, for he spied her at once and said: "Bless my soul! who's this? and where did you come from?" Little Girl thought perhaps she might be afraid to answer him, but she wasn't one bit afraid. You see he had such a kind little twinkle in his eyes that she felt happy right away as she replied, "Oh, I'm Little Girl, and I wanted so much to see Santa that I just came, and here I am!" "Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!" laughed Santa, "and here you are! Wanted to see Santa, did you, and so you came! Now that's very nice, and it's too bad I'm in such a hurry, for we should like nothing better than to show you about and give you a real good time. But you see it is quarter of twelve now, and I must be on my way at once, else I'll never reach that first chimney-top by midnight. I'd call Mrs. Santa and ask her to get you some supper, but she is busy finishing dolls' clothes which must be done before morning, and I guess we'd better not bother her. Is there anything that you would like, Little Girl?" and good old Santa put his big warm hand on Little Girl's curls and she felt its warmth and kindness clear down to her very heart. You see, my dears, that even though Santa was in such a great hurry, he wasn't too busy to stop and make some one happy for a minute, even if it was some one no bigger than Little Girl. So she smiled back into Santa's face and said: "Oh, Santa, if I could ONLY ride down to Earth with you behind those splendid reindeer! I'd love to go; won't you PLEASE take me? I'm so small that I won't take up much room on the seat, and I'll keep very still and not bother one bit!" Then Santa laughed, SUCH a laugh, big and loud and rollicking, and he said, "Wants a ride, does she? Well, well, shall we take her, Little Elves? Shall we take her, Little Fairies? Shall we take her, Good Reindeer?" And all the Little Elves hopped and skipped and brought Little Girl a sprig of holly; and all the Little Fairies bowed and smiled and brought her a bit of mistletoe; and all the Good Reindeer jingled their bells loudly, which meant, "Oh, yes! let's take her! She's a good Little Girl! Let her ride!" And before Little Girl could even think, she found herself all tucked up in the big fur robes beside Santa, and away they went, right out into the air, over the clouds, through the Milky Way, and right under the very handle of the Big Dipper, on, on, toward the Earth-land, whose lights Little Girl began to see twinkling away down below her. Presently she felt the runners scrape upon something, and she knew they must be on some Ines roof, and that Santa would slip down some one's chimney in a minute. How she wanted to go, too! You see if you had never been down a chimney and seen Santa fill up the stockings, you would want to go quite as much as Little Girl did, now, wouldn't you? So, just as Little Girl was wishing as hard as ever she could wish, she heard a Tiny Voice say, "Hold tight to his arm! Hold tight to his arm!" So she held Santa's arm tight and close, and he shouldered his pack, never thinking that it was heavier than usual, and with a bound and a slide, there they were, Santa, Little Girl, pack and all, right in the middle of a room where there was a fireplace and stockings all hung up for Santa to fill. Just then Santa noticed Little Girl. He had forgotten all about her for a minute, and he was very much surprised to find that she had come, too. "Bless my soul!" he said, "where did you come from, Little Girl? and how in the world can we both get back up that chimney again? It's easy enough to slide down, but it's quite another matter to climb up again!" and Santa looked real worried. But Little Girl was beginning to feel very tired by this time, for she had had a very exciting evening, so she said, "Oh, never mind me, Santa. I've had such a good time, and I'd just as soon stay here a while as not. I believe I'll curl up on his hearth-rug a few minutes and have a little nap, for it looks as warm and cozy as our own hearth-rug at home, and--why, it is our own hearth and it's my own nursery, for there is Teddy Bear in his chair where I leave him every night, and there's Bunny Cat curled up on his cushion in the corner." And Little Girl turned to thank Santa and say goodbye to him, but either he had gone very quickly, or else she had fallen asleep very quickly--she never could tell which--for the next thing she knew, Daddy was holding her in his arms and was saying, "What is my Little Girl doing here? She must go to bed, for it's Christmas Eve, and old Santa won't come if he thinks there are any little folks about." But Little Girl knew better than that, and when she began to tell him all about it, and how the Christmas fairies had welcomed her, and how Santa had given her such a fine ride, Daddy laughed and laughed, and said, "You've been dreaming, Little Girl, you've been dreaming." But Little Girl knew better than that, too, for there on the hearth was the little Black Coal, which had given her Two Shoes and Bright Light, and tight in her hand she held a holly berry which one of the Christmas Sprites had placed there. More than all that, there she was on the hearth-rug herself, just as Santa had left her, and that was the best proof of all. The trouble was, Daddy himself had never been a Little Girl, so he couldn't tell anything about it, but we know she hadn't been dreaming, now, don't we, my dears?

WORD OF THANKS

I thank and praise You O LORD for all the people who have been angels to me throughout the year, for all the people who have spoken God's word to me. Family, friends, loved ones, my bhe and even strangers. People who told me what to do when I was most confused...who encouraged me when I was discouraged... People who boosted me when I was down and weak.People who constantly remind me to be good and to strive hard.

I thank and praise You for my mum and dad, for my two brothers (sg and jong-jing), to my special someone my bhe, i love you so much, to my best-ever friends (junelle, pai, cathy, apol, lm, shin) my good friend bird, to my colleagues and mentors at mix fm (sir bong, ms.jo, sir george booke, andi, steph, aeigh, erin, chesky, lee, ute, crimson, ate mae and ate mai, chief and kuya armald) to our listeners, to my other colleagues (kb family) i miss you guys! to the lectors' group and redemptorist community, to my classmates and schoolmates, to my friends and new found friends all around the world, gabee and ur family, all the bloggers, and YOU! who have been so good to me inspite of what I am.They have been angels in flesh and blood. I thank these good, loving, angelic people.

Hope I will learn from their goodness. As you have been angels to me, may I, in turn, be angels to all of you. May I, in turn, be an angel not only to the good people but to the bad people as well. May I, in turn speak words to encourage and enlighten not only the good people , not only the grateful people, not only those who will applaud me but also those who will forget me, those who ridicule me for doing it.

Thank You for all the angels in my life. You know who you are! There are so many of you. I love you ALL!
Keep on Rockin'

Happy Christmas and Blessed New Year!!!

When people say...I'm busy

I hate it.... I just really hate it when people say "I'm busy". I'm not saying this applies to everybody but most of the time, it's just another way of saying "I'm making more money, don't disturb me" or "Sorry, you're not important so I can't waste my time for you". I know you won't admit it but, come on! We all know it's true, if we will just look inside our hearts and be honest with ourselves. And if you're in the receiving end, I gotta tell you friend, it hurts.

Of course, I'm not saying that having a lot of things to do is bad. I'm not shallow, I got things to do too, not to mention I have a lot of problems. But when it comes to people I care for, I think THEY DESERVE for me to at least take time to pause whenever I can and give a little effort to make them feel loved and that they still exist in my life. I'm not raising my chair here, but I'm also not a hypocrite. And I'm not saying I'm any better. I'm just trying to express my honest feelings about this.

Sometimes people forget. They forget they are human beings surrounded by other human beings and that some of those human beings are what they used to call "Friends.." Or come to think of it, maybe they don't really care. Why didn't I think of that before?? But like I said, this is case to case basis.

To all my friends.... of course, if aren't guilty of this then you're off the hook. I'm just talking about a few people who have forgotten to care.

Anyway, this could go on for a while, it's actually a four page written sentiment but I won't put it all here, I don't wanna bore you with it. So never mind.

All I'm saying is.. "I'm busy" is probably an answer a person can give to sales offers, business invitations, etc. But to say that to your friends is a little harsh. I'm not being overly sensitive here. It's just a little fact that some people are blind to. If you tell me that, it only shows one thing, you don't consider me as your friend. It hurts my friend, but that's okay because guess what? I understand. I won't hate you. I just hate that phrase. It's the most insensitive phrase on earth.

Badly hit

I have been sick over the last few days. It hits me badly. So far, I have not skip work before because I am not feeling well. But I did this time. On Tuesday, I stay at home the whole day, sleeping most of the time. I started to feel unwell on Monday evening. After dinner, I have a strange feeling on my stomach. The pain is not like any other normal pain. I am not sure how to describe it and I am not sure what to do with it. Then, the feeling of nausea hits. Then I start throwing up. :( On Monday night, I spend half of my time throwing up. :( It was bad. I can't sleep properly and my stomach just hurts like crazy! I told myself that I am not going to work the next day. Everytime I told myself this, it wouldn't work. I will wake up the next day and go to work.

The next morning, I woke up late and I am still feeling bad. I decided to stay at home to rest.
I slept most of the time that day, watch tv and listen to radio as well. In the evening, I went for a walk.
On Wednesday, I went back to work. I didn't work for a long time. I felt tired, so I left after my boardwork. Today, I am feeling better and I hope I can start jumping up and down. Well, I have not done that yet because it's still early in the morning and I tried to get a few things done.

Why blog?

When we live a rich life, there's a lot to share without having to brag. I love blogging on just about anything! To me, it's like the parable of the seeds...from the farmer's point of view: you just have to throw the seeds---some of them will fall on rocky soil and will never sprout, some of them will grow but eventually before they can bear fruit, they wither; but some...they fall on fertile grounds, where the seed grows to be a tree, bearing good fruits.

I'm not a smart ass with a perfect grammar but I write anyway. I'm not a perfectionist and I am generous to giving myself a big room for errors. I just love sharing. I love throwing the "seeds" and let the fertile mind of readers turn it in to something useful for their lives.

puress of pain...love

...choose me,
love me,
let me make you happy...

they say that when you love someone, you have to say it, shout it to the world...or the moment just passes you by. this is supposedly a very romantic but painful line especially for someone who can't do it. what is it with the love word that is scarily beautiful.

saying "i love you" takes courage.

what if you meet someone today who will turn out to be your "bestest man or woman in the world." however, he/she will always be a friend and nothing more. like he/she is the dream guy/girl who can never walk down the aisle with you because he/she has someone else. what would you do?
...snatch him/her,
take him/her to the altar for his/her dream girl/boy to marry?
love him/her in silence...

what if you love someone but he/she doesn't love you in return?
what would you do?
i will just love him/her for a month or so, just to feel the feeling of loving that someone
turn my back
leave everything behind and move on.

what about having a friend that you can never love
for other women/men he/she is close to perfect
but in some cosmic way you just can't see that in him/her
what would you do?
let time be the best judge
you might find yourself falling for him/her
just wish that it won't be too late,
he/she might find someone else who will love him/her in return

Flashback

It rained all day today!!! Perhaps the sky understands how I feel.

Such weather, it was inevitable to take a nap and steal a snooze. Too long a nap, I slept for hours solid straight instead.

I don't know, perhaps it was the prolonged nap, I woke up with memories of me and my Bhe together on the day I was leaving for home flashing through my mind as though they came alive all over again. I found such flashbacks too hard to bear...was swept away by an avalanche of sadness deep down into the valley of emptiness. My heart ached for his presence a lot..

I don't think I'll ever want to take any naps anymore. Well, at least not for the time being.

Viewfinder

When it starts....love can be the happiest experience a person can have, but it ends...love can be the most painful experience a person can have...
We don't look for love because it's lonely to be watching movies alone,because it's sad to eat meals on your own, because it's sad to cuddle up with someone on rainy days...
We look for love because we wanted to be accepted, for the sloppy way we dress, for the clumsy way we eat our meals, for the bad mood days and for simplicity in us...
Love is an act of acceptance..that with all our imperfections, we are accepted and loved
Mathematically loving someone is not easy as simple algebra...you have to love infinitely without limits...
But learning to let go of someone you love is harder...because the cure cannot derived and simply does not exist....
Too often it's hard to say goodbye...especially when that person really means so much to you..but sometimes we have to say goodbye...not because you didn't care anymore but because you have already loved too much...........
To let go someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back... letting go is not just setting the person free, but also setting yourself free.........
Sometimes I wonder why I feel so in love with you....sometimes i can't help but cry knowing you doesn't feel the way I do..
I'm afraid I can't bear the pain...
To grieve is all I can do...

3 POINTS

I CHANGED...

I have changed, Hope I changed enough; The road is very smooth, But at the same time very rough; I tried on shoes that ended up to fit, But I really never noticed I was really in a pit; I looked up and found you on better ground, There it was my true love has been found; I was climbing trying to get in your range, Feeling so high feeling so strange; Becoming a better person in this world, Making changes for this special person; All that climbing gives me a sigh, For this person I will never die; I made it to the top like I thought I'd never do, I will never die; Because I want to spend this life with you.


LIFE GOES ON...

Life is too short, grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, so laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can't change.. Love deeply and forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets.. Life is too short to be unhappy you have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you got and always remember what you had always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but we should never regret, people change, and things go wrong but you should always remember that life goes on...


IF YOU LOOK INSIDE OF ME...

You would see how much i really cries, you would find so many secrets and lots of lies but what you'll see the most is how hard for me to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong..

Da Mars Code

"In life, I always search for answers because I want to prove myself that I had the right decisions but the truth is, I can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen...That's why I forgive people even if they hurt me, I love people who don't love me, & I smile despite every painful crash in my heart. At the end of the day, the lesson I get are the answers to my decisions." Bitter Reality: "Not all things that I wanted, though I worked hard just to have it, is always meant to be mine. Somehow, I also lose." Sweet Reality: ""But when I lost someone or something, there will come a better one that I surely deserve more than anything...Patience is still a virtue..." *wink -_^ "I really do believe that every one of us can change the world. If enough people do this, we will change the face of the planet. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world…Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -- marvin@105.9 mix fm

AOB

ok wala lang 'to... walang pasok sa trabaho last friday...hosting job...practice sa play.... atlast, after a long week of stressful stuffs eh makakapag pahinga na ako! anyways, eto immune sa puyatan kc nasanay na eh... mag memorize sana ng lines ko for our play pero bukas nalang (as a part ng pagiging procrastinator) kasi minsan lang ako makapag pahinga... oh ano ba chika ko sa inyo? wala naman bago, ssdd pa rin SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY ... maglalaba lang cguro bukas then the rest, maging productive para naman may mapala ako sa buhay hehehe... mahirap kasi pag sabay sabay lahat.. work + bills + stress +extra curricular activities arrghh! pero kinakaya naman... y not? am a superman! bwhahaha... i can stand on my own feet without any support lol... sarap ng ganitong buhay, thrilling and challenging at the same time... samahan mo pa ng pagkatamis tamis na lovelife parang caramel frap with whipped cream on top... isama narin ang mga kengkoy friends... stay up til 1 am sa coffee shop-- kwentuhan walang katapusan pag off sa work or after work... oh yun ang life ko ngaun, i have tons of responsibilities pero can handle naman... at hindi naman me masyado nag wowory ngaun sa buhay buhay kasi wat's the point, there will always be a problem... AND according to my boss, PROBLEMS ARE TO be solve.... oh dba, totoo un, nilalabanan ang problema... hindi ung iiyak ka lang jan sa isang tabi na parang isang basang sisiw kung may problema ka, dude 21st century na! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! maraming mga dumarating na problems but eventually, they will disappear kung marunong ka mag handle... d ka naman kasi dapat nalulungkot kasi d ka naman mutant lol... malungkot pa rin paminsan minsan... masaya me now eh hindi ko lang alam bukas, kasi ung mood ko parang circus paiba iba... i know everything will be fine basta may konting challenge, comedy at katakot takot na excitement samahan na natin ng konting lungkot to make life like a blend of happiness with a hint of sadness as the time goes by... un lang po and many thanks sa mga taong nakakaalala jan!

c'est la vie

Being so busy at the moment makes me think back and see how my life from the previous, and endure the gift of today, my precious dreams...
I may not be always prepared for things that come along my way, but I do have a pocket full of dreams. I am still hopeful. I don't enjoy much of my time now since I am occupied to the maximum yet I am enjoying the good side of life; being a HAPPier person ....
Living in my aspirations makes me more willing to face the battles of life... Though I may always fall with these obstacles of mine, I know that there is always a good reason behind the downfalls...
I love whatever it is coz it makes me the person that I am now ... and C'EST LA VIE ! THAT IS LIFE!

Best Actor

What is happiness???

I used to be a very happy person.. But recently, i found myself very down, easily get mad.

I realized, when we're care about one person, we want everything from her/him. But, he/she will just ignore it and pretend like nothing happened. This kind of feeling is very bad...

I dunno, maybe i'm caring too much for this person. And i had this kinda feeling, just like a song, called: Hate that I love You~~~ hahaha.. i do, really hate myself, so useless...

Think i should be alone, rather than get myself hurt again... Wish me luck... :)

ooppss..just kiddin'! im ok! im happy! nag emote lang ako! bleh

reality check

My head is so groggy now... didn't manage to sleep well last nite. Probably got very bogged about my bhe's txt.I'm worried! Get well soon bhe! I love you.
anyway, last week was really crazy for me at work... even now, am still very boggy down by work and church activities.
totally looking forward for a brighter tomorrow! Yeah!!

-----------------------
A sign to eat more
It had been quite a long time since the last time I weighed myself, an activity I used to do everyday : when I woke up in the morning, after I took my meal, or every time I felt I was light in weight.
'The more you focus on one problem, the bigger the problem will be.' (The Secret book)
So I decided to stop and said good-bye with my scales for a several weeks. I arrested my so great desirability to know my weight.
This morning, after I took my bath, didn't know why, I suddenly wanted to weigh. Happily, despite of my brutality of eating, my weight has stayed the same :)

the countdown

38 days to go before Christmas and as our Father God GIVE His only Son,Jesus to this earth and died on the cross to save us because He LOVE; and Christ Jesus willing to go up to the cross and died is because He really LOVE you and me so much..

People always think that Christmas is the season of "mad party","drunkenness","sexuality", which is the season that evil...But they are WRONG!!! Totally wrong..

Christmas is the season of LOVE and GIVE, for celebrate Christmas is to memorize the 1st coming of our LORD Jesus, for He come to save us, renews people character, restore people from brokenness, heal sicknesses, deliver people from the evil one, and provide us all the thing that we need.. He willing to so humble Himself, come from HEAVEN and to this earth and purposely died on the cross, because He LOVE and willing to GIVE everything He has to us..

So, let this coming Christmas be a season of LOVE and GIVE, go and help peoples that in need, LOVE them and GIVE them..

black or white

When we were younger, we could easily choose or decide what side we wanted to be in: black or white, left or right, A or B, yes or no: but as we grew older we learned that gray, middle, C and maybe exists. And sometimes we have to choose the gray, the middle, the C or the maybe and try to see things and somehow experience what would it be like before fully deciding on what side we really want. It's just like dipping your feet in the pool but still be able to get out of it as soon as you realized that the water's too cold for you.


So many things are going through my mind, im afraid of fully get in because im scared that i might get hurt yet im afraid of losing a spot so i decided to take my time thinking on another side.

While thinking, i went to other places to try my luck. I continuously dipped my feet in different resort hoping i'll find a resort somewhere else that will make me feel contented and happy, then suddenly i realized that i already found that resort, that the first resort i dipped my feet into was actually the resort that gave me what i'm looking for.

So i went back, but i found out that its too late, there was just enough room for one when i left and someone else took it. I had no choice but to go to other places and continue to seek for another resort hoping that i can still find aplace that can give me the happiness and satisfaction i was looking for. But nothing can give me the same feeling...

So i decided to go back to give it another try hoping that there will be a room for me this time, but no one's leaving, no one's coming out, and the only room left is on the sideline enough for my feet. So i spotted a little light and gave it another try, i dipped my feet again hoping for the best. I waited and waited but still it's not happening, no one's coming out, time's still not on my side. I know that i wanted and needed it so badly, so i have no choice but to wait hoping that someday, i will be given another chance as i promised myself that next time, i will definitely going in.

.........................................................................................................................................

But i waited long enough, i'm losing my patience and i felt like giving up; i realized it's not worth the time anymore and then i asked myself...---why are you still waiting for something you're not sure of when you can have something (that is willingly given to you) that can (somehow) give you happiness? Why not live with what you have and with what you can have and just be happy with it, than try to reach for something you know is leaning closer to impossible?

the end...

A reawakening!

Got a rude reawakening last week....Have to thank someone and a strange "dream" for the reawakening from another dream which have belonged to 2 years ago. Perhaps i was lazy or just perhaps im too naive into thinking a miracle will happen someday. But with this reawakening, i know whether i like it or not, i have to make a move. It is no longer mine anymore. It was never mine in the first place.The miracle i kept in my heart has vanished. Perhaps, there shall be a new light in my life. Somehow or rather, God had its plans for me i think. He had made me tasted the bitterness of losing all the time and not forgetting the sweetness of gaining something. I wont say i enjoyed the bitterness of losing but perhaps sometimes without losing, u will never learnt the importance of appreciating something while you had it and may be it was'nt destined to be mine. I will change my directions now that i know finally, the dream is over. i will have to search for a direction that belongs to mine, exclusively mine now. If i keep on dreaming, i will be lying to myself. It wont benefit anyone, not me especially. Certainly, I know this day will come and now, like it or not, i had to face it. A voice taps behind my mind " Mars, this dream is over. Please wake up !No more crying and regretting!

for you bhe

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same direction."

One of the books i wanna read with you,we'll learn and dig the depth of this masterpiece together.

Everyday i wake up wishing that you are right beside me to make an ordinary day seem like an extraordinary one


Love is never love until you share it with someone.........
someone like you bhe.
I love you!

Happy monthsary

stardust the movie

Welcome to the realm of Stardust, a fantastic fantasy adapted from author Neil Gaiman's book of the same name that wastes no time constructing a dense mythology overflowing with scorned princes, fiendish warlocks, airborne pirates, and the aforementioned star named Yvaine -- played with an ethereal chip on her shoulder by a glowing Danes.

Here are some of the lines from the movie that strucked me most...

"...but when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and.... Is this love? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."


Reviews:
Stardust provides the awe-inspiring fantasy that usually attracts saucer-eyed young ones, but doesn't shy away from murder, dark magic, and adult jokes. It's a breath of fresh air after months of summer blockbusters aimed squarely at male teenagers. Stardust promises storybook adventure for grownups, who require (and deserve) a little fairy dust blown their way from time to time.


If i were to rate, 5 being the highest...
I give it a score of 4.

According to Sean O'Connell
It's not a blimp, it's a zeppelin!

THOUGHTS

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and
swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was
the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it,
but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until
it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love
you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in
their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget
someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that
fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a
smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your
heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just
want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you
want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all
the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make
you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you
happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you,
it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have
searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the
importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you
can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and
heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was
smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is
smiling and everyone around you is crying.

SEXcapades

everybody has a story.

kahit gaano pa katino yang mga kaibigan natin, pag kumagat ang dilim, o ang alak, o ang hormones...nagtratransform yan... it does not matter who we are, what we know or how intelligent we are. this is instinct vs reason.

sex doesn't always mean intercourse.. in this generation, it means a whole lot of things.

but i guess there is nothing wrong with that, really. it is really a part of growing up, and a test: kung hanggang saan ang control ng brain mo over your heart and/or other organs.

marami akong kaibigan na hindi ko alam kung bakit ang hilig magkwento sakin ng mga sexcapades nila. not that i mind, its just i'm worried. either they think i am THAT trustworthy, or am just equally horny. heehee.

there are different sides to stories.. merong magrelasyon talaga, merong between friends at mayron rin namang spontaneous.

yes, this is what boyfriends and girlfriends do.

I never believed this one friend of mine,would one day grow up and do stuff like this. i guess i've always thought of him as the "totoy" guy i met in college. he is very smart and likes to analyze... although he was always akward with girls. what touched me the most about his story was that he says there are certain things he would never do to his girlfriend, because that would mean disrespecting her. he says, no matter how aroused he is, he would always stop whatever it is they're doing when he feels the passion is turning into lust.

give it to this guy still be thinking at this point. ang galing.

so i asked him, what if it starts as passion then escalates to lust? And how does he know where one stops and one starts?

sexcapades between friends always turns into something bad.. always. except maybe in the euphoric universe where it turns out that you actually have romantic intrest in/or is sexually attracted to/ or am deeply in love with this certain friend. and vice versa, syempre. dream on, pare.

so NOT happening.

i cnt imagine how it must feel to have a |friend with benefits|. does it mean that the two of you can successfully compartamentalize where the line between the friendship and the benefits lie?

ano yon, one moment you're telling this guy about your serious, most depressing problems and the next moment, you guys are making out? if you guys are friends, there must be some kind of emotional bondage diba? and from what i know, friends with benefits require absolutely no emotional bond whatsoever. kasi that would actually require caring. can you do the naughty stuff sa taong you care about? whom you actually consider as a friend?

FYI

Cry for those who are wiling to cry for you..i am not asking for fairness in love..cry for them because these are the people who would never hurt you in the first place..

There is no such thing as KARMA, there are no regrets in life..whatever happens, happens for a reason, and even though sometimes that reason is hard to accept or to understand, it is reality..everything that happened before led me to this point..yes, there is something better, and yes, there is also something worse..i wont yearn or despise either of them..whatever happened before, whatever happens now, and whatever that will happen - i accept..i am grateful for only one thing..that I AM ALIVE..

Whatever shit or heaven you are in right now, be grateful for it..coz there's always something better and there will always be something worse...

Wednesday

I've been surfin' around the net for hours... thinking of nothing in particular. i just don't want to sleep yet. But before i retire to bed, let me just share this one realization i had last Wednesday.

after the mass, i went to the chapel and pray. While I was reading the novena to our Mother of Perpetual Help, there was a part where you have to name what you need... It goes something like this... and now in silence, let us pray for our personal intentions...(name it). It made me ponder on what I need or my intentions. Then I realized there's nothing on this earth that I need. I was blessed with so many graces. The thought of it made me cry, because for weeks, I've always been sad, crying once in a while, but I never had the time to stop and thank the Lord for providing me with all I need. I personally didn't have much in need. I guess in a way, it also is to say, that happiness does not come from material or earthly needs. It is something that to be shared with other people, like family, friends and with your special someone. However, this does not change the fact that I am so lucky and blessed. Suddenly, all my worries faded away.

Marvin @ 23

We celebrate our birthdays, the date of our birth. But we do not celebrate the anniversary of the day we were conceived. Perhaps because this is considered a very private matter; besides our parents may not really be aware of the exact date.

October 12---I celebrated my 23rd birthday (it's a holiday) I'm not getting younger anymore.
I just wanna thank and Praise You Lord for giving me another year and for all the people who have been there for me. Family, friends, colleagues, even strangers and You!
My birthday this year is a celebration of friendship, a celebration of life, of love and a celebration of faith...
As I go through life, I'm being open and let life flow! As long as I remain open, I'll see more openings that will lead me to the horizon. It provides me a kaleidoscopic view of my extraordinary celebration of my being human and divine.
I can see that God has blessed me in so many ways...My prayer now is that I will continue to grow more and more each day in the knowledge of my own giftedness, that I will be more convinced that I am called for a purpose, and with this, I should find time to thank God each moment. And never forget that God's loving gaze upon me will always remain no matter what...

First or Last

Some people live by their first impressions. So if you create a good impression on them, they will always trust you, believe in you and love you. Some people live by first impressions, so if you make a very bad first step, it is the end of you.
Other people live by first mistakes. They threaten their loved ones by saying " one more mistake and I will leave you!" Some live by their first mistakes and say "one mistake, one single mistake and you're done."
On the other hand, some people go by last chances. They say, "this is your first and last chance. Nothing else follows after this."
Now, to which of the categories do you belong?
First impressions...first mistakes...last chances?

Gimme more

Allow me to share with you this poem entitled "To know all is to forgive all"

If i knew you and you knew me,
If both of us could clear the sea,
And with an inner sight define,
the meaning of your heart and mine,
I am sure that we would differ less,
and clasp our hands in friendliness.
Our thoughts would pleasant agree,
If I knew you and you know me.

This poem talks about forgiveness. There is no reason to forgive unless there has been a previous hurt or offense. But the reason we get hurt is because we know each other. Someone we don't know can't hurt us.
When we are hurt, we tend to withdraw, refuse to talk or listen and cut all forms of communication. We leave it that way and wait for time to heal our hurts.
Inevitably, we hurt each other. But after hurting each other, it is actually an opportunity to communicate more to know more. The more we hurt one another, the more we should communicate and find out more. And then, the reality---the more you know, the more you forgive. If you know all, you will be able to forgive all.
We probably have this tendency to hold back on forgiveness because we do not know our offender well enough.
Try to know more...try to feel more...try to understand more.
People who know more are very likely to forgive more.

Dear lost and found

We are all afraid of losing a loved one. But the experience of losing and finding again is a mystery. What can we learn from the experience of losing? When we lose somebody, we appreciate even more their value and beauty. It is something we may not realized if our dear one was not momentarily lost.
On the other hand, the mystery of finding back is a reminder for us that we are not in complete control of the situation, that are dear one is not our total possession but belongs to God. If we are able to find back our dear one, it is not because we searched, but because God willed he or she be found again.
In losing, we appreciate more the value of a dear one. In finding, we appreciate more the fact that everyone is a possession and everything happens only through the power of God.

look

When I look at babies sleeping...it makes me realize how fragile life is. When i look at a shooting star blazing...it makes me realize how temporary life is. When i look at the sun rising...it makes me realize how beautiful life is. But, when i look at a person dying...it makes me realize how important life is. Life is beautiful in its fragility, important in its transcience.Let's live life to the fullest. Laugh, love and be grateful! But don't forget the wonderful giver! Amen?Amen!

love/angst

Love changed me; the way i think...the way i act...the way i decide.
Sometimes, i go even go against my principles and beliefs in life...
Loving doesn't mean i'll be happy always;
Sometimes,all it provides me is pain and misery...
Yet, i was blinded by strong emotions that i failed to see reality...
Sometimes, letting go is the answer;
it hurts like hell, but i will soon realize that it's better to see the person i love to be happy, than lonely with me...

LEARNINGS

I've learned that kisses don't always mean something...that promises can be broken just as quick as they are made. That sometimes goodbyes are really forever and always remember to use I LOVE YOU with extreme caution...coz if used in a wrong way, someone will end up getting hurt...remember that it shoudn't be an everyday word, it also shoudn't be said just beacuse your expected to say it. Make sure you know how and when to use it, coz once you're in love, it shoudn't be that easy to fall out of love.

The Promise

Everyday is expected to keep promises. When our friends fail to fulfill then, we are disappointed. But come to think of it, are we really capable of fulfilling every promise we make? I guess not! For example, you promise to bring your daughter to the movies, but the car won't run or it rains. You promise you will cook for your husband, then there's a brownout or you cannot find the ingredients for the dish. You promise you will be kind, then you see somebody who makes your blood pressure rise. When things like these pop up, off goes your promise.

We are not really in full control of ourselves. That is why, humanly speaking, it is not possible to keep every promise we make. I think it is important to keep in mind that we are able to keep promises only through the strength and grace of God gives us. We are not in full control of anything. We do not even know whether we will live tomorrow or not. And yet we are bold with our promises, when in fact, nothing is ever within our control. Perhaps, it is always good to keep a condition to every promise we make.

The ALPHABET

A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for
the choices they've made even if you
have difficulty understanding their
beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands
in the way of what you hope to
accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can
share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and
happiness with.

D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and
happy come what may, and good things
will find you. The roadblocks are only
minor obstacles along the way.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has
much to offer, and you have much to
give. And every time you try something
new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh
you down and inspire unhappiness and
grief. Soar above it, and remember that
everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind.
They can no longer hurt you or stand in
your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that
anything is possible as long as you
remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your
head. Focus instead on your goals and
remember your accomplishments. Your past
success is only a small inkling of what
the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new
possibilities, by remaining open-minded.
Try to learn something new every day,
and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem,
they'll always get better. The warmth of
spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of
hate. When hate is in your heart,
there's room for nothing else, but when
love is in your heart, there's room for
endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses
wisely, and you'll suffer less stress
and worry. Then you'll be able to focus
on the important things in life.

N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless,
weak, or suffering. Offer your
assistance when possible, and always
your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the
beauty around you. Even during the worst
of times, there's still much to be
thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way.
Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here
to learn.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your
life, and remember that things always
have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge,
and time with others. Everything that
you invest in others will return to you
many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to
reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by
what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability.
Talent that's wasted has no value.
Talent that's used will bring unexpected
rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members
who've supported and encouraged you, and
be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best
person you can be, but never feel guilty
if you fall short of your goals. Every
sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those
around you and you'll see the goodness
and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on
track and remain dedicated, you'll find
success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories
or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let
nothing interfere with your goals.
Instead, focus on your abilities, your
dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

greetings

I read an article about "a filipino thing", I notice that we filipinos have a weird way of starting conversations with people whom we haven't seen for some time. May be your classmate way back in grade school or in high school, perhaps your long time crush then became your friend, then your partner or may be your enemies.My bad!
Normally, it goes like this: "Uuyy! Kumusta? Tumaba ka ah...or the other way..."Payat natin ngayon ah..."
Heller....what's with the weight-related opening spiel, an intro or remark? I experienced that today, when I was at the mall. Which greeting? Both! Just one day! Geezz...how can I have gone from fat to slim in a matter of hours? Thanks for the compliment! Is this so called a filipino thing?
There are times that we don't know what to talk about or what to ask? Easy...a simple "hi" "hello" "how's been doing" would do. or even a smile we'll surely brighten up their day. Go! Fyt!

be happy

There are times when you feel so happy, it feels like its your last day on earth. But the reality is, pain and suffering is just around the corner. It's like happy moments (nostalgic moments) are reminders that we should get ready anytime for another challenges or trials to come. I believe that the best will happen everyday, just be aware that even trials are gift to make us strong enough to face life and trying times. Do i sound so pessimistic? hope not, I just realized something that I have personally experienced many times.
For almost 22 years, the life I have been living taught me some very priceless lessons and I'm keeping them stored in mind. Right now, I just want to enjoy these happy moments but I know to set limits. I have a very loving, supportive, generous and cool parents who won't ever get tired of taking good care of me and my two brothers. A good job, my irreplaceable friends, new found friends and hopefully a very loving, sincere partner...soon :-) What more can I ask for?
"Everything that makes me happy are in my hands right now and when the time comes I fall, I'm pretty sure I'll get up."

Past-Present and Friends

The Lord said He did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill the law.

This means that the past is not the enemy of the present. It means that we build our present according to lessons and blessings of the past. And yet, we know that we have an insidious tendency to blame the past for all the mistakes we presently experience.

The government blames Ferdinand Marcos, Cory Aquino, Fidel Ramos, Joseph Estrada and President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for our mistakes today. We blame the spanish missionaries for our religion now. We blame our great grandparents, our parents for not sending us to the right schools. We blame all mistakes of the past.

The past is not the enemy of the present because the present is built on the past. We cannot built the present if we continue to disrespect and erase the past.
Winston Churchill said, "If we continue to allow the past to become the enemy of the present, we will loose our future."

The past is not totally bad. We have so many things to be grateful to God for from the past. We would not be what we are now if the past had not been generous to us.
Of course, we cannot say that the past is perfect. Nothing is perfect. But to say that all our mistakes now, all our sufferings now are because of the past is severely unfair.

The past has gifts to offer. If we are humble, we can learn from these mistakes. If we are grateful enough we would be happy for the past.

biz-yo

why are there things that we just can't let go even with the fact that it is not doing us any good? bad for us, even???

drinking, for example... we know that alcohol is bad for the liver... but why do we keep on chole-ing ourselves???

smoking--- bad for the lungs. but still we continue to puff.
swearing, always gets me in trouble... but i just cant help but to... why? habit perhaps? nature? instinct?

i got a theory. it is because over and above the risks, we still choose to hold on because it liberates... it gives a certain feeling of ecstasy and well, at some point seemingly... control.

"...i can see the dark ahead if i stay"
ps point? identify your weakness, your kryptonite... give in if you must. but be cautious. you might lose yourself in the process.

Suffering

To suffer pain is part of humanity. I do not think anyone here is alien like Kokey to human suffering. Suffering comes to different people in different forms: sickness, poverty, loneliness, persecution, malignant and so many others. All of us have suffered...I too, one way or the other. I challenge anyone here, reading my blog, to tell me that he/she does not know what suffering means.

Some of our sufferings weigh too heavily on us that we cannot even share them with our closest friends. The paradox of human suffering is that sometimes we think we are the only individual suffering. When you have a headache, you can think that the world is unfair to you.

Suffering should not make us more selfish. Suffering should not make us impatient.

Suffering should not prevent us from serving, loving, healing and forgiving others.

Because the greatest measure of love is to love even if ourselves are suffering.

My last piece

When I was in first year High School, I got to know Alritz through Power 93 (it's a Pop Station).
I was an avid listener and he was a new disc jock then. I would requests songs like KC and Jojo "All my Life" and he would play it. I visited the station one Sunday afternoon before going to Service and I was horrified to finally see the face behind the voice. I wish he would remain mystery man to me. Since then, we remained friends from Mystery Man to Chris Rock to Iceman.

Pikoy, God knows how much we've been through...remember Verdebarr? (hungarian sausage), rubbing elbows with local/national artist, remember the halloween were your truck stalled along Damosa Highway and I together with Master Yoda pushed that darn thing up to Damosa Gateway. What about the time when in the middle of our Fung Shui discussion when the lights in the station suddenly went off and well you know what you did. What about the scene at Autoshop, when I tried to push you for lecturing me on misbehaving and unfortunately somebody else fell on the floor. I have witnessed Bating and your love story and now that you are leaving Davao to be with her.

All those memories and a lot more will truly be cherished.
I thank you for being a true friend and an adopted brother to your family. I may not following everything that you told me, but nevertheless, your advices are appreciated...

Till we meet again.

Buzzin' out

I

I want to love freely,
I want to be at peace with myself, with people around me, with basically everything and everyone within my reach.
I want to free myself from any form of camouflaging of emotions, ideas, thoughts.

In a world were there is love, peace, and freedom. In this cruel, real world we live in, there is love, peace, and freedom only when we consciously ordain ourselves to those pillars that make this world more livable, exciting, colorful, happy, fun, and warm for everyone.

a letter for you

I hate myself because of the stupid feeling but I just can't help it. I'm crazy, weird, maybe liberated and impulsive but what else can i do, I'm just simply a hopelessly romantic person.

I just can't believe it... Grabe against all odds masyado but still I'm willing pa rin to fight for what I feel and let the world know how willing am I to die for it, but mahirap pala talaga if the feeling is not mutual.

"Now, I'm almost over you..."

Eventhough, I really tried my very best to forget you but I just can't deny the mere fact that I'm still in love with you. God knows how hard and how painful it is for me. Even if I've been doing a lot of things just to forget you and learn how to enjoy my life being into diversions but it's still you that I've been thinking of. I guess your the reason why I still decided to go on with my life. I've been through self-denial telling myself that I don't love you anymore but I guess it's just me hurting inside.

Maybe the reason that I can't forget you is because I'm not ready yet to let you go even if we're not together. Eventhough I really tried to move on but it's just so hard for me to do so. I'm afraid that I can't live without you now that you're not mine.

I am hurt...

You know how overwhelmed I am with the pains in my life. The world is so unfair to me. Everything in it is unfair to me. I am hurting inside out. I am on the brink of giving up. I long to simply throw up my hands and quit.

You were also hurt. You suffered inwardly and no one noticed. You cried tears of sadness, no one was aware. You have wept with Your hurt also as you struggled to save the world and You were misunderstood.

I feel that the hurt is so deep. I feel that the hurt is overpowering me. I feel that the hurt is about to defeat me. There is a deep valley of desolation in me. The dark tunnel is too long. Please give me strength. I don't like to give up yet. Show me where to go, show me what to do, guide me please. Be my companion.

I renew my belief in your loving power and strength. I believe that even if I am in difficulty, from the left and from the right, from top to bottom, I will never be hopeless or conquered. I know that even if there were no answers to my problems, I do not have to give up. I feel I am being persecuted but I know that I will never be alone. You are with me. I may feel that I been knocked down but I know they will never destroy me. You are with me always, wherever I may be. I can draw strength and courage from your sufferings...Lord.

Too Late

Farewells and goodbyes always bring about certain amount of pain and hurt. It is a sad reality of our lives...We realize the impact of our friends, loved ones and significant others, only when they are about to depart from us. We realize the influence they have had on us, only when thet're about to die, or when they're about to leave us and are saying goodbye. It is sad reality that we appreciate people only when they're gone.
I made a promise, to express my love and appreciation for one another-not only during farewells and goodbyes-but everyday. I should grab the moment of our lives as an opportunity to express one's love.
Farewells and goodbyes are not only times to show or love for people we have taken for granted.

8-17

Have you ever been in a situation where you want the ground to open up and just swallow you raw...erasing you from the face of the earth? That is how i feel. I just could not reconcile how, in heaven's name did I get in the situation where i am now! Sad thing is, I don't feel any regrets for my decisions as they have made me or rather, who I am becoming...It is just so unfortunate that I have to find myself in a predicament were complication could not yet any worse between me and the people that are most dear to me.

I wish I could tell...so you would understand.

But there are some things that are left unsaid, not necessarily forgotten, but remain unspoken.

PS: I wish I could runaway...to elope with the sanity that is left of me. But, until then, I shall keep my cool and composure as long as I can. There is no escaping this...none yet.

Ten Commandments

AIR PERSONALITY'S TEN COMMANDMENTS

I. THOU SHALT ANSWER THY REQUEST LINE

II. THOU SHALT MAKE IT CLEAR TO EVERYONE THAT THY STUDIO IS NOT FOR SOCIALIZING

III. THOU SHALT READ A DAILY NEWSPAPER TO KEEP INFORMED ON WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THY COMMUNITY AND IN THY WORLD

IV. THOU SHALT MAKE AN EFFORT TO ESTABLISH RAPPORT WITH THY CO-WORKERS

V. THOU SHALT THINK ABOUT THY CAREER

VI. THOU SHALT MEET THY PUBLIC WHENEVER POSSIBLE

VII. THOU SHALT WORK THY TAIL OFF TO DO THE BEST JOB POSSIBLE

VIII. THOU SHALT TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY THOU WOULDST LIKE TO BE TREATED

IX. THOU SHALT BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST

X. THOU SHALT NEVER BE SATISFIED WITH THY SHOW

The Right Choice

Everyday, we are faced with numerous decisions and choices.And try as we may, we often don't choose the things that we know is "good for us". Part of this related to the fact that the "right choice" is often the difficult one to the fact that involves some sacrifice. One day, I couldn't help but to cry. I'm in the stage of discernment...related to family, career life and my responsibility in our organization. Apol say's "Ikaw Marv's, will you choose water over wine?" I reflected and realized that there are no easy solutions to avoiding these realities. Fortunately, we have a place to begin. If we approach our choices in life keeping these in mind, it is easier to give up the things that are ultimately harmful to us. I wish that everyting will turn out find. Not to the extent that I'll be hurting others feelings or my own.

Buzzin' out!

It's been a privilege and pleasure working with Killer Bee family. I have been working and serving for the company since I was in high school and I can truly say that there was never a dull moment spent here at the beehive. I have learned a lot from all of you, from my colleagues, from our clients and listeners. I am forever indebted to all of you and my memories from the moment I started as a listener, then as a campus patroller up to the moment I've done my last board work as "the martian" I will cherish forever.
With this, comes my sincerest appreciation because Killerbee 89.1 gave me a wonderful career and experience...and more!
Thanks for the memories!
Special Thanks...to my mentor George Booke, to Peter Cross, Sir Jik, Ate Mary, to all the technicians (special mention Kuya Nixon), To our PD "The Main Man" Joe Fisher, Dadi Rod, Billy Kiane, Chuck Mauri, Gabee, Ainee to my buddy Iceman and to all the Campus Patroller (Junior Beez) and to those unmentioned names, you know who you are! Thank you! I'll see you again!

Buzzin' out!

happy monthsary

Day after day i go into the wild,not knowing what lies ahead and what may come forth... I always have this fear of not finding what i'm looking for and what i deserve in life......but life is not always cruel, life can also be very sweet, fun and full of colors.......and this very special person brought rainbow down right at my doorstep,i cant thank you enough for making my life so colorful ...I love you bhe.

Happy Monthsary!

for you

June 10, 2007...

Was the day that i saw the most beautiful smile in the world...
When you stormed the door, glanced at me and smiled...
All of a sudden the universe was in order,the planets aligned and the stars lined up as if everything is extremely perfect...
I finally felt what's it like to be lost in space,i will never trade that moment for anything in this world...
It's the moment that you appreciate every living creature in this world,the grass that grows on dirt,the blue sky that protects us from the sun,the brids chirpping on the tree and a beautiful butterfly that just came out from a cocoon...
they all had meaning...

I had meaning...
your complete package (head to toe, inside-out) who made me fall in love...

Thanks for being YOU bhe. Thanks for Rockin' my world!

Nostalgic Moments

NUNG IKAW AY BATA PA...NAGAWA MO BA 'TO?

*kumakain ka ba ng mansanitas?

*nagpipitpit ng gumamela para gawing soapy bubbles na hihipan mo sa binilog na tanggkay ng walis tingting?

*pinipilit ka ba matulog ng nanay mo pag hapon at di ka papayagan maglaro pag di ka natulog?
*marunong ka magpatintero, PS PS I LOVE YOU,lupa-langit, bulan-bulanay (ayo naa moy kalayo?), tig-so?
*malupit ka pag meron kang family computer or brick game?

*alam mo ang silbi ng up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, a, b, start?

*may mga damit ka na Giordano classic, may sapatos ka na boots nung grade school,tretorn na may check sa gilid , Esprit?

*addict ka sa power ranger,teenage mutant ninja turtle, voltes v, ultraman, daimos,sailor moon, he-man at marami pang cartoons na hindi pa translated sa tagalog?

*nung high school ka inaabangan mo lagi beverly hills 90210, baywatch, ewoks?

*meron kang blouse na may padding kung babae ka at meron kang sapatos na mighty kid kung lalake ka?

*nangongolekta ka ng paper stationaries at mahilig ka magpa pirma sa slumbook mo para lang malaman mo kung sino ang crush ng type mo?

*idol mo si McGyver at nanonood kang Perfect Strangers?

*eto malupet... five digits lang ba ang phone number nyo dati?

*nakakatawag ka pa sa pay phone ng 3 bentesingko lang ang dala?

*cute pa si Aiza Seguerra sa Eat Bulaga at alam mo ang song na "eh kasi bata"?

*inabutan mo ba na ang Magnolia Chocolait eh nasa glass bottle pa na ginagawang lalagyan ng tubig ng nanay mo sa ref?

*meron kang pencil case na maraming compartments na pinagyayabang mo sa mga kaklase mo?
*noon mo pa hinahanap kung saan ang Goya Fun Factory?

*sosyal ka pag may play-doh ka at Lego... at nag-iipon ka ng G.I. Joe action figures at iba paang mukha ni barbie noon?

*inabutan mo pa yung singkong korteng bulaklak at yung diyes na square?

*meron kang kabisadong kanta ni Andrew E. na alam mo hanggang ngayon.. aminin?

*laging good morning towel ang sinasapin sa likod mo pag pinapawisan ka?

*bumibili ka ng tarzan, texas at bazooka bubble gum... tira-tira, at yung kending bilog na may singsing na nakalakip?

*takot ka dumating ang year 1999 dahil sabi nla magugunaw daw ang mundo?

KUNG ALAM MO LAHAT DITO LAGPAS KA NA NG 23 YEARS OLD... KAPAG HALOS LAHAT ALAM MO, NASA 23-35 KA...WAG KA NA MAG DENY.. TUMAWA KA NA LANG... DIBA 1 PESO PA LANG PAMASAHE SA JEEP NUN AT MAS MASARAP ANG MIRINDA ? HAHAHAHA