GTG

Is it wrong to terribly miss old things? i think nothing is wrong when one suddenly feels so empty. i believe a thing is never wrong as long as nobody gets hurt... it is only now that i am starting to feel this way, probably it was due to the piled up "kamalasan" i went through yesterday.... sad sad really.. who would have thought? so tired... i feel like i just want to rest... but worst of all i am emotionally sad... i think this blog started off with "missing stuff", now let's go back to that.i believe that you will have a period in your life that will either make you or break you... the past few days were quite different from the rest... i guess if things have not changed much then maybe i could still manage a smile.

it's been freaking mad, a bit lonelier, a bit better(maybe? not sure but yes i guess it did) not having L around.. it's kind of weird.. i mean how the feeling could go on. when you have your circle of friends and suddenly everything changes just because of hear says... Friendship, i thought is the most important thing in the world so how could some people easily ruin it? such a mess.. it's hard to admit to everyone else that i've been affected at how things went over the past few days.. although i am much content, happy and better now at the same time i ponder on what could have had happened if the things that happened before didn't really occurred.but why so, that just this week i've felt like crying over what happened. it is only now that i feel affected. really! i don't know how to say goodbye...

the person who's been always so kind to me and understanding despite my being rude, judgemental, mean.. i was unfair to this person and now i wonder how much kindness i've shown? or if i was ever kind? i was always mean, and always blaming all the things that's got to do with her painfully hurting me... but i honestly cared.. i was not able to show it though, because i don't know how.. and now i stop and think if that person will ever know how much i cared, or how much i appreciated every single kindness that was always there.. i guess though, i will never have that one more day, that one chance of letting that friend of mine know that to me she was a true friend... all i could do is just write these things out.

---gtg---