At one time, all is going well….that’s what I thought. How many times do we really see reality and when it knocks, we try hard not to open its doors for we are scared of facing its undeniable truth. How many times do we trust our instincts and ended up making wrong moves? Defense mechanism…that’s all it is. Hiding from reality and forcing to show a face of a strong being. Projection---- others are not aware that many people project their frustrations and disappointments to a completely unaware person. What good does it do? Then at another time, we seem to act on impulse, decide on impulse without rattling our brains and taking as an example time thinking on what is the right thing to do…..IMPULSIVENESS!! SELF-CONTRITENESS!
I can say that I’m an unstable sort of man, not knowing what I want in life…I’m constantly fighting traumas in my life. I say this blah blah… but did I actually say those things? ----What’s the outcome?--Hurting the people I love the most because I just think about myself too much, I can’t decide on my own, I’m gullible and I’m easily manipulated. I am scared of following my heart’s desire. Isn't’t it nice that one has to go through dark roads before seeing your true self? Crossroads they call it. One has to choose only one and choosing the wrong path changes everything. It can either offer joy or despair. Whichever way it is, no one is to be blamed but ourselves.
What to do next? Hold on to the lessons learned and move on until we can take a mature step again and never stumble again. Losing a loved one is not really losing the memories. All will remain within us. We’ll just have to cling to those memories and use it for making us stable again.
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