Sense of Existence

It is not so much to ask God why in the tides of unfortunate events you still walk on Earth. It is as if even if it seems God doesn’t strike you with a drip of fire, you suffer. If He does, you still suffer. You realize that with or without God’s work, you suffer endlessly. Amazing how one minute you are ready to fall off a cliff with your heart entangled with deep hatred of your past, and not long afterwards you look at the heavens and ask God to give you one more chance to know the reason why you exist.

You wake up this morning and still feel the anger fuming out of your body. You remember asking God to give you peace and yet now, you can still feel the pain. You feel betrayed. It is not so much to complain that the world is one big hell. Where is God? You think there is none because if there is one, you must be walking the earth with peace in your heart. No, you must be walking this earth with slaves kneeling down to beg for your mercy.

You see, man is a selfish mammal, what with his grand desire to conquer the world, and yet can only stoop down below the rage of nature. It is as if God has thrown every possible combination of His own self to the playground He built, not out of vain with His power, but perhaps out of curiosity, and yet has been hesitant to create human beings as equal as Him. Man searches for his destiny, fights the tirades of obstacles set upon him, walks his way towards what seems to him a clear but blurred vision, and so on and so forth, thinking that his brothers and sisters are also creating the notion of life in its core sense. Have they really understood life in its core sense? All living humans seem to claim they do, and yet deep inside their hearts, fear and confusion abound. They will die someday but certainty to understand life will remain uncertain. And so, you understand now why this world is one big asshole… why you are one big asshole.