Sometimes, you love someone so much, you’re ready to give you’re all.
And you know in your heart you are giving you’re all, giving your best.
Sometimes, when you thought it’s over, fate plays with you and give you another chance.
And another.
And then you give your all, you’re best.
Or so you thought.
Sometimes, you say things that break the heart. Do things that rip the soul. And you can never take it back.
You can never take it back.
Most of the time, you just have to listen to your heart. Listen to your heart. Feel the love, and the pain that comes after the love.
And you’ll know what to do.
Sometimes, the chance that you have… is your last chance.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
My Name's Hidden Meaning
My Name's Hidden Meaning...
My First Name is Marvin Gil - and here's the meaning on both of my names. By the way, I got this link from a good friend! Thanks!
What Marvin Means
You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you.
You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night.
Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
What Gil Means
You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.
You want to check yours? go to What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?
My First Name is Marvin Gil - and here's the meaning on both of my names. By the way, I got this link from a good friend! Thanks!
What Marvin Means
You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you.
You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night.
Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
What Gil Means
You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.
You want to check yours? go to What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?
Monday, January 28, 2008
LIFE...in a way i could never imagine
I'm restless...
Really, i can't help it. Too many question, so confusing, so much in a place where it so-called brain....
Last night, i had a conversation. With someone who called me a friend...
Again, i am always in a lane, a repetition. Why i never realize that, my life is just a test. Why i can't see that, the reality doesn't go the way my dream does, the way my fantasies does, why can't i see that the reality is much more real than what my fantasies would be like...
It just me...
It has always been just me...
Me, myself and i.
I should, you know, really, just forget about everything and live life the way i should be, live life the way people like me have, live life without having any sense of reality, without having any feelings...
Soulless...
Loveless....
In life, we often get what we want, but we must cherish and acknowledge those who came by, those who touch our life, because we never know, maybe all this time, what we have been chasing is right in front of us...
i can't understand why i end up being me...
why i end up miserably....
i can't see, which is right, which is wrong anymore. i don't understand why it must be me who always suffer...
then again, everything in this life is just a test. a test that significantly made us more stronger or end up suicide. a test that was meant for us to have it...
some of us is strong. can accept the test and live through it... i don't know if i am strong. i cannot say that i am stronger now for living through this hell. i don't really know how, that i, survived this whole time...
till now, i still don't know how i can stay the way i am...
with everything that happened, i know they happened for a reason, but i don't know how, or why, why it must be me, and why that i cannot be some else, why that i am trapped, and why those fucking people around me never could understand how much pain that i am having, they can only laugh, and keep on laughing...
say nasty things about me...
say everything they want about me, like i am nothing but just a puppet with no feelings or whatsoever...
and it hurts...
it hurts really bad...
i want to cry now... but what's the point?
the blame is all on me...
i guess i am a dreamer....
i have to run, hide...
cause i don't want to return to my room alone....
Really, i can't help it. Too many question, so confusing, so much in a place where it so-called brain....
Last night, i had a conversation. With someone who called me a friend...
Again, i am always in a lane, a repetition. Why i never realize that, my life is just a test. Why i can't see that, the reality doesn't go the way my dream does, the way my fantasies does, why can't i see that the reality is much more real than what my fantasies would be like...
It just me...
It has always been just me...
Me, myself and i.
I should, you know, really, just forget about everything and live life the way i should be, live life the way people like me have, live life without having any sense of reality, without having any feelings...
Soulless...
Loveless....
In life, we often get what we want, but we must cherish and acknowledge those who came by, those who touch our life, because we never know, maybe all this time, what we have been chasing is right in front of us...
i can't understand why i end up being me...
why i end up miserably....
i can't see, which is right, which is wrong anymore. i don't understand why it must be me who always suffer...
then again, everything in this life is just a test. a test that significantly made us more stronger or end up suicide. a test that was meant for us to have it...
some of us is strong. can accept the test and live through it... i don't know if i am strong. i cannot say that i am stronger now for living through this hell. i don't really know how, that i, survived this whole time...
till now, i still don't know how i can stay the way i am...
with everything that happened, i know they happened for a reason, but i don't know how, or why, why it must be me, and why that i cannot be some else, why that i am trapped, and why those fucking people around me never could understand how much pain that i am having, they can only laugh, and keep on laughing...
say nasty things about me...
say everything they want about me, like i am nothing but just a puppet with no feelings or whatsoever...
and it hurts...
it hurts really bad...
i want to cry now... but what's the point?
the blame is all on me...
i guess i am a dreamer....
i have to run, hide...
cause i don't want to return to my room alone....
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The Ex-Factor
Few things in life are more annoying than the "Ex-factor". If someone is not over their ex, no matter how hot, sexy, intelligent and sweet you are, it won't matter, because they are not in a position to appreciate it at the moment. They are living in the past. You are competing with someone they have a history with, who knows them a lot better than you do and who they share a lot of good memories with.
How do you know if someone isn't over their ex? Two clues are if they're always mentioning the other person, when there is clearly no reason for it or if they refuse to discuss the ex. So what can you do? Practice what I call the:"Lose'em to keep "em"move. Sit your sweetie down and say: I like you and enjoy being with you, but it doesn't seem as if you're over your ex. Tha''s not fair to either one of us and I can't continue to see you under these circumstances. I think you need to go and do whatever you need to, in order to figure out what you want. This will probably surprise them and they may even deny still being into the ex, but don't fall for it. No matter how much they beg and plead, stand by your statement. If they ask whether you are going to be dating others, let them know it's a possibility.
Don't worry that if they get back with their ex it will be over forever with you. The ex is an ex for a reason, something obviously wasn't working. More often than not, if they do get back together, eventually they'll fall into the same patterns, and before you know it, they'll start having problems again.
The Type:
The ex: An ex can often be a significant factor in your relation with the person and all too often the effect of an ex can be rather negative...
The Stalker Ex: When ur out on date, the ex's spy or the ex them self is everyway! arghhhh...
"The Friendly Ex": The Ex call call/email occasionally or even still do things together as friends. or the worse case is when ur partner Ex want to be friend with u. Pls Never trust when the ex is just being nice...
Cheers...MOVE ON MARS!
How do you know if someone isn't over their ex? Two clues are if they're always mentioning the other person, when there is clearly no reason for it or if they refuse to discuss the ex. So what can you do? Practice what I call the:"Lose'em to keep "em"move. Sit your sweetie down and say: I like you and enjoy being with you, but it doesn't seem as if you're over your ex. Tha''s not fair to either one of us and I can't continue to see you under these circumstances. I think you need to go and do whatever you need to, in order to figure out what you want. This will probably surprise them and they may even deny still being into the ex, but don't fall for it. No matter how much they beg and plead, stand by your statement. If they ask whether you are going to be dating others, let them know it's a possibility.
Don't worry that if they get back with their ex it will be over forever with you. The ex is an ex for a reason, something obviously wasn't working. More often than not, if they do get back together, eventually they'll fall into the same patterns, and before you know it, they'll start having problems again.
The Type:
The ex: An ex can often be a significant factor in your relation with the person and all too often the effect of an ex can be rather negative...
The Stalker Ex: When ur out on date, the ex's spy or the ex them self is everyway! arghhhh...
"The Friendly Ex": The Ex call call/email occasionally or even still do things together as friends. or the worse case is when ur partner Ex want to be friend with u. Pls Never trust when the ex is just being nice...
Cheers...MOVE ON MARS!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Sense of Existence
It is not so much to ask God why in the tides of unfortunate events you still walk on Earth. It is as if even if it seems God doesn’t strike you with a drip of fire, you suffer. If He does, you still suffer. You realize that with or without God’s work, you suffer endlessly. Amazing how one minute you are ready to fall off a cliff with your heart entangled with deep hatred of your past, and not long afterwards you look at the heavens and ask God to give you one more chance to know the reason why you exist.
You wake up this morning and still feel the anger fuming out of your body. You remember asking God to give you peace and yet now, you can still feel the pain. You feel betrayed. It is not so much to complain that the world is one big hell. Where is God? You think there is none because if there is one, you must be walking the earth with peace in your heart. No, you must be walking this earth with slaves kneeling down to beg for your mercy.
You see, man is a selfish mammal, what with his grand desire to conquer the world, and yet can only stoop down below the rage of nature. It is as if God has thrown every possible combination of His own self to the playground He built, not out of vain with His power, but perhaps out of curiosity, and yet has been hesitant to create human beings as equal as Him. Man searches for his destiny, fights the tirades of obstacles set upon him, walks his way towards what seems to him a clear but blurred vision, and so on and so forth, thinking that his brothers and sisters are also creating the notion of life in its core sense. Have they really understood life in its core sense? All living humans seem to claim they do, and yet deep inside their hearts, fear and confusion abound. They will die someday but certainty to understand life will remain uncertain. And so, you understand now why this world is one big asshole… why you are one big asshole.
You wake up this morning and still feel the anger fuming out of your body. You remember asking God to give you peace and yet now, you can still feel the pain. You feel betrayed. It is not so much to complain that the world is one big hell. Where is God? You think there is none because if there is one, you must be walking the earth with peace in your heart. No, you must be walking this earth with slaves kneeling down to beg for your mercy.
You see, man is a selfish mammal, what with his grand desire to conquer the world, and yet can only stoop down below the rage of nature. It is as if God has thrown every possible combination of His own self to the playground He built, not out of vain with His power, but perhaps out of curiosity, and yet has been hesitant to create human beings as equal as Him. Man searches for his destiny, fights the tirades of obstacles set upon him, walks his way towards what seems to him a clear but blurred vision, and so on and so forth, thinking that his brothers and sisters are also creating the notion of life in its core sense. Have they really understood life in its core sense? All living humans seem to claim they do, and yet deep inside their hearts, fear and confusion abound. They will die someday but certainty to understand life will remain uncertain. And so, you understand now why this world is one big asshole… why you are one big asshole.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Just Nothing
I feel so sad tonight but the tears have all dried up. How I wish I could still cry like a little boy. Sadness makes its new face - smile. This is one of the saddest moments in my life. If only a person can understand. If only a person knows that what hurts most is to let go of something that will always stick in the system, forever. If only a person knows that its torture giving the impression that it's okay even though it kills you deep inside. If only a person knows its more than torture never being loved in return, and worst knowing that there's somebody that person loves who will never love that person back too. I dunno if you get it, its kinda like a "he loves her, she loves another, another doesn't love her". I'll never forget. I want to forget the past year but its history. I always trust myself. I failed several times but I always get up. This has just gotta take some time. But I'l go home. That's for sure.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wait for you
I have vowed to myself that I will not allow anyone to dampen my spirits and I will never be daunted by pessimism. If things do not go my way, then I will patiently wait for things to fall into place. I always believed that everything happens for a reason...that at the end of every dark tunnel there will be light...that every cloud has a silver lining. Lately, it seems that there is something (or someone) shrouding the silver lining of my cloud. I am hoping for my sun to finally rise and shine but my clouds still look gloomy...yet I am still unfazed. I know my time will come. My prayers will be heard and sooner than I expect it, my prayers will finally be answered. All I have to do is have faith in Him and communicate with Him as often as I can. I know He will never fail me. He always fulfills His promises especially to those who wait patiently and believe in Him. One thing I realized is that my spiritual relationship with Him became stronger and that's a silver lining to the dark cloud I have.
Monday, January 21, 2008
being IN LOVE...magic of love
The best part of being in love is to have someone caring for you, making you feel special and bringing out the best in you. You feel that your existence matters for someone.
At the height of that intense feeling, you do your best to please the person. Your world will usually revolve around that person. You always think and find ways to surprise the person and make him/her realize how much you love him/her. You're seeing the future with the person and hoping that everything will stay the way it is. That he'll make you feel so in love forever.
Then reality sets in, that intense feeling begins to fade. Both your real sides are beginning to show. Demands and expectations are beginning to be imposed. You'll begin to doubt, ask questions and be disappointed from stood-up dates, unanswered calls, uncaring comments/actions and forgotten special events. You will then begin to nag and to push the other person to the limit without realizing you're pushing that person away and suffocating in the process.
This is the worst part of being in love...loosing yourself in the process and expecting the person (who you love) to be the same person you thought he would be. That person who promised to love you endlessly. You forget that anything can change and happen while being in the relationship. You're expecting that everything will happen the way you want it to be.
When these expectations were not met, you'll begin to get hurt. You'll blame that person for making you fall. You'll blame yourself for being foolish and letting yourself fall. You'll eventually hurt that person also. Then the love will eventually fade leaving the pain behind. Then you have to go through the process of letting go and picking up the pieces again. You will feel that you are more incomplete than before.
Before being inlove, one must learn how to leave a part of you. You must have loved yourself first before someone. You must always bear in mind that nothing is permanent in this world, that people and feelings can change anytime.
While being in love, you must enjoy the moment. Make the best you can for it. Learn to trust and let the person grow. At least if it didn't last, you will have something to remember and make you smile.
Lastly, it is only through acceptance that you will overcome the pain. It is only YOU who can heal YOU. Don't expect someone to make you happy; it is YOU who owns your world...
"Things that are not meant to be, will not meant to be..."
At the height of that intense feeling, you do your best to please the person. Your world will usually revolve around that person. You always think and find ways to surprise the person and make him/her realize how much you love him/her. You're seeing the future with the person and hoping that everything will stay the way it is. That he'll make you feel so in love forever.
Then reality sets in, that intense feeling begins to fade. Both your real sides are beginning to show. Demands and expectations are beginning to be imposed. You'll begin to doubt, ask questions and be disappointed from stood-up dates, unanswered calls, uncaring comments/actions and forgotten special events. You will then begin to nag and to push the other person to the limit without realizing you're pushing that person away and suffocating in the process.
This is the worst part of being in love...loosing yourself in the process and expecting the person (who you love) to be the same person you thought he would be. That person who promised to love you endlessly. You forget that anything can change and happen while being in the relationship. You're expecting that everything will happen the way you want it to be.
When these expectations were not met, you'll begin to get hurt. You'll blame that person for making you fall. You'll blame yourself for being foolish and letting yourself fall. You'll eventually hurt that person also. Then the love will eventually fade leaving the pain behind. Then you have to go through the process of letting go and picking up the pieces again. You will feel that you are more incomplete than before.
Before being inlove, one must learn how to leave a part of you. You must have loved yourself first before someone. You must always bear in mind that nothing is permanent in this world, that people and feelings can change anytime.
While being in love, you must enjoy the moment. Make the best you can for it. Learn to trust and let the person grow. At least if it didn't last, you will have something to remember and make you smile.
Lastly, it is only through acceptance that you will overcome the pain. It is only YOU who can heal YOU. Don't expect someone to make you happy; it is YOU who owns your world...
"Things that are not meant to be, will not meant to be..."
Sunday, January 20, 2008
SOUL MATE
I had actually posted this as a reaction to my friend's blog and now I decided to post as my blog too!
As I searched within myself for the right answer about who will be my soul mate is? It dawned on me how difficult the question is. How much more pushing one will go through in his/her quest for the right person. Am I going to wait? Or am I going to look around but either ways; it requires actions. But I clearly know the answer now and apparently this person shed some light on me. The truth just burst inside me which made sense as far as my understanding on the limitations of human feelings is. You just know love when it comes; you just tremendously feel it, and when it's real? There is no more questioning coz we are more than willing to embrace everything.
You see? I am in love! truly, madly, deeply, and inexplicably to a wonderful person, and I have never questioned nor doubted my feelings coz I have feverishly spent many hours joyfully and blissfully in the company of this beautiful being and I am always in awe of the ways we have wonderfully shared things and moments together. Mine shared could be a bond with ups and downs, hills and plains, straights and crooks, rough and soft, smooth and bumpy, round and square, sweet and sour, but what the heck! the world is full of imperfections and that made it beautiful and special. The bottom line is? Whether a soul mate or not? I will love the person so dearly coz without a doubt. . I do understand that Love is not a set of criteria but love is an emotion freely expressed unconditionally and once accepted, it's up to those people involved on how they nurture and keep the light of love aflame.
Soul mate is just like a piece of a puzzle that would fit to a tee, if we find one? we are lucky indeed coz it is heavenly, but if we cant? then that doesn't make us a lesser person in love either? Soul mate or not? I will always love you forever coz you are everything to me. . . . But in my heart and mind I surely would like to believe that you are indeed my soul mate whom I have waited for so long. . . .
Saturday, January 19, 2008
The Lost Coin
Something wonderful happen to me this week. It's wonderful because it's completely unexpected. Months ago, I prayed to God and asked him to help me find a friend who is understanding. Then, Lo' and Behold, He responded my prayer with someone whom I have known in the past. It was so amazing! As the saying goes, "Miracle happens everyday."
In a short period of time, my dearest friend and I shared our experiences. We exchanged text messages everyday for five days in a row, as if we were trying to connect the time we have missed from one another. As thoughtful as he could be, he showed his support and confidence in me and shared his life's journey in the last twelve years. I thought to myself, "how could I have missed his friendship before? Why it took years for me to find out what a wonderful person he is?"
I never knew that he did value my friendship until he said, "I found my lost coin!" And that made all the difference. Now I truly appreciate him.
In a short period of time, my dearest friend and I shared our experiences. We exchanged text messages everyday for five days in a row, as if we were trying to connect the time we have missed from one another. As thoughtful as he could be, he showed his support and confidence in me and shared his life's journey in the last twelve years. I thought to myself, "how could I have missed his friendship before? Why it took years for me to find out what a wonderful person he is?"
I never knew that he did value my friendship until he said, "I found my lost coin!" And that made all the difference. Now I truly appreciate him.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
N DEY SAY
...i'm getting tired of life.. its really a bore..Everyday its about making choices, dealing with people..blah blah blah..
yes, some may say that i'm living in denial at times.. i choose to act ignorant towards matters which i don't have the confident outcome.. i wonder what do i want in life..frankly i FONT KNOW... i used to think that i know clearly what i want in life but now.... confusion.. i realized that now lately i have been in the situation which i never had before--following people's footsteps just to prevent talks/gossips.
Okie..though not serious decisions in life..but its scary for me..coz it might lead to that. its creeping back to me at times when least expected--a voice saying "is this the right thing to do? what will others say??"
So what to do? The "best" advice so far: you must think properly.. What kind of advice is that?? so til i figure out one day, meanwhile act ignorant...
yes, some may say that i'm living in denial at times.. i choose to act ignorant towards matters which i don't have the confident outcome.. i wonder what do i want in life..frankly i FONT KNOW... i used to think that i know clearly what i want in life but now.... confusion.. i realized that now lately i have been in the situation which i never had before--following people's footsteps just to prevent talks/gossips.
Okie..though not serious decisions in life..but its scary for me..coz it might lead to that. its creeping back to me at times when least expected--a voice saying "is this the right thing to do? what will others say??"
So what to do? The "best" advice so far: you must think properly.. What kind of advice is that?? so til i figure out one day, meanwhile act ignorant...
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Front Row
Life is a theater. Invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least minimize your time in draining negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships or friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay close attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you love certain people, do you feel better or worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. Remember that the people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and our income.
And so, we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information which we feed our minds.
We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor feed them with negative thoughts.
Who's in your front row now?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Kids Love Survey
Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year ODs, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love? Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have a simple but deep grasp of that four-letter word.
" Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
" When someone loves you, the way she says your name is different. You know that your name is safe in her mouth."
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."
" Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
" Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss but they look happy and sometimes they dance in the kitchen while kissing."
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
" If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."
" When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only does she still love you, she loves you even more ."
" There are 2 kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
" Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they've know each other so well."
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
" Love is-if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the cafeteria. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay."
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
" Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
"Don't feel so bad if you don't have a boyfriend. There's lots of stuff you can do without one."
" Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
"If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself. Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes better. I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you and you should just find a nicer boy."
" Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day"
"When you're born and see your mommy for the first time.
" Love is what makes people hide in the dark corners of movie theaters."
"Love goes on even when you stop breathing and you pick up where you left off when you reach heaven."
" My enemies taught me how to love."
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
" You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
"You have to fall in love before you get married. Then when you're married, you just sit around and read books together."
"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."
" When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
" You never have to be lonely. There's always somebody to love, even if it's just a squirrel or a kitten."
"You can break love, but it won't die."
" Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
" When someone loves you, the way she says your name is different. You know that your name is safe in her mouth."
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."
" Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
" Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss but they look happy and sometimes they dance in the kitchen while kissing."
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
" If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."
" When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only does she still love you, she loves you even more ."
" There are 2 kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
" Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they've know each other so well."
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
" Love is-if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the cafeteria. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay."
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
" Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
"Don't feel so bad if you don't have a boyfriend. There's lots of stuff you can do without one."
" Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
"If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself. Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes better. I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you and you should just find a nicer boy."
" Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day"
"When you're born and see your mommy for the first time.
" Love is what makes people hide in the dark corners of movie theaters."
"Love goes on even when you stop breathing and you pick up where you left off when you reach heaven."
" My enemies taught me how to love."
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
" You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
"You have to fall in love before you get married. Then when you're married, you just sit around and read books together."
"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."
" When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
" You never have to be lonely. There's always somebody to love, even if it's just a squirrel or a kitten."
"You can break love, but it won't die."
Monday, January 14, 2008
Going back on the track...
I thought of it a thousand times already. Not ready to take a single step.. Maybe, a single step forward… I guess. But going back? I don’t think I can. I was thinking of what It could have been if I just “go back” where I was supposed to be a year ago. Definitely, It was the right thing to do. But I’m not happy being on it. And It was so hard because I was fighting with my own feelings, my own self. I was in the middle of “would I rather be happy but undoubtedly wrong, or right but sad” situation… My Good friends never failed to remind me all the time, and they keep on giving pieces of advice of what I was supposed to do. But honestly? I'm old enough, and I knew already what I was supposed to do. But I don’t wanna do it because my heart is not into it. It was such a very selfish decision. I did it my way. Regardless of the people who might get hurt. It didn't’t bother me. I knew I might get hurt, but I took the risk. I am not afraid of taking the risk just to be happy. I thought of what would make me happy, at least even for that moment… I knew It wouldn't’t last, I just knew it. It was sort of a dream and I live my life, aware that any moment… it will be ended. I enjoyed every second of it, I never wasted my time.-Time to care, to love, to be happy, to be loved. That short period of time…that person was all “mine.” After a year of holding back… Is there a way to go back? Should I? For whom? For the little angel? Maybe I shouldn't’t think of my own happiness this time. I am afraid to go back and pick up all the pieces. What if I’m lost, didn't’t know the way back? Should I go back just because it was the right thing to do, though my heart is not willing to go back? My heart just wanted to move forward. Far beyond the past and the hurts of yesterday. I was looking back. I can see familiar places, faces. They are reaching out their hands on me. willing to show me the way. The way back. But I can’t take a step backward. Maybe, I’m still waiting for someone who would lead me into the direction of my happiness. For Now… I’ll just look back. I’ll just stand still.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Stressed...
...am starting to lose control of everything again and i dont know why. it's been a month! but now, seems like am going back to my old self. the old me that everyone was eyeing on. i feel so helpless. i wanted to scream but i can't, Cox i know nobody will hear me. the people i can count on are gone. they're miles away and i cant just bother them everytime am feeling sad.
...though i have my everyday boardwork and it makes me busy at times, my personal problems still pops at the end of the day. hey! cant you see? i need you badly now. where are you? you're gone again. i need your guidance. anytime now, i will fall. i've waited for you for so long and now that everything's settled, you're missing again. i want to be with you. i want to feel you. be with me!
...am so stressed with work. i need somebody to take care of me, too. if only you can see what's inside my heart then you'll know how much am in pain now.
...dead!
...though i have my everyday boardwork and it makes me busy at times, my personal problems still pops at the end of the day. hey! cant you see? i need you badly now. where are you? you're gone again. i need your guidance. anytime now, i will fall. i've waited for you for so long and now that everything's settled, you're missing again. i want to be with you. i want to feel you. be with me!
...am so stressed with work. i need somebody to take care of me, too. if only you can see what's inside my heart then you'll know how much am in pain now.
...dead!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Mars 2008
Some expect me to be "perfect", but i'm not, for nobody is...i have my mistakes, weakness and fears, but i'm so contented for whatever life i have now..& it doesn't matter were i came from, my title, my family name..it always my dignity as a person that counts..others may see me as a stone not a gem, and i don't give a damn! I know who i am..how i care for the person i love.what i think and what i feel... Me, Myself, and I...not perfect but just the way I want it.I'm Mars, I am an impassioned individual who just can't suppress my ideals.I've got a strong sense of right and wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed the line. There are times when i sit back to hear both sides of an argument.But people had better stay out of the way when my fiery passions take hold.But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a cause, it doesn't mean i 'm incapable of being understanding and compassionate. It's because i invested into my ideas and interests that i can work so tirelessly toward my goals and speak up for what believe in.I'm always good for a laugh that's most likely how friends describes me. With my quick wit, i can easily bring a smile to someone's face or lighten a situation with some much-needed comic relief. i' ve got an ability to laugh at myself and help others not take things too seriously... I'm very outgoing person. I love the little things in life and i know that they can make all the difference. Whether i' m giving, receiving, or just watching from afar, nothing brightens up my day like a token of affection or seeing people treat each other with kindness. Thoughtful and caring, I often put the needs of others above my own. That's why friends and family trust me, my goals, and advice they know that I always have the best of intentions at heart. It's simple really, making other people happy makes me happy. What could be better than that?i 'm an open-minded person.. i 'm also wacky when i feel like it..my mood is so unpredictable!!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
HE loves you...
We live, we die. sometimes we experience unimaginable joy, sometimes we fall deep into the valley of pain and sorrow, wondering how worth it is this life.
Is this life worth it then? Is it meaningful the way it is now, the way we spend every single day of our lives? Will it be meaningful then after we die? Lights out, erasing every of our cherished memories? Our good times, our bad times, our loved ones...
Is that meaningful???
Does life feel like an endless routine ending in a meaningless end, oblivion? Well, God has a purpose and meaning for your life. No matter how insignificant, useless or bad you think you are. Know why??
Because God loves you
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Hitting the airwaves
After every storm a rainbow appears and it's a fuck-in bright rainbow. I have been in past relationships that will not be described here, but I've said my goodbyes and paid my respects... But now I feel like I have to express what I'm feeling NOW.
Being among the crowd in a concert full of emotion, life, and passion... I felt so ALIVE. Watching the band, feeling the music, and being in his arms seemed to feel so RIGHT. Have you ever felt like you were suppose to be at a particular place, at a particular time, with that particular person? Have you ever felt so attuned with the world that the only thing you'll feel is that moment you are in and everything else just disappears? Have you ever felt so at peace that you ponder on how you lived life before all of this... all of the love and serenity? I have. At that moment I knew that I was suppose to be there, to be listening to music's expression about life. Our love! It was incredible! It was so powerful that I think everyone felt it.
I was busting with too much emotion that night that I think it tired me out because I wanted to type all of this then, but when I got home at 2pm I just fell on my bed. I don't know how else to describe what I was feeling and I know this did not do justice to it. Damn it! I should have stayed awake...
Being among the crowd in a concert full of emotion, life, and passion... I felt so ALIVE. Watching the band, feeling the music, and being in his arms seemed to feel so RIGHT. Have you ever felt like you were suppose to be at a particular place, at a particular time, with that particular person? Have you ever felt so attuned with the world that the only thing you'll feel is that moment you are in and everything else just disappears? Have you ever felt so at peace that you ponder on how you lived life before all of this... all of the love and serenity? I have. At that moment I knew that I was suppose to be there, to be listening to music's expression about life. Our love! It was incredible! It was so powerful that I think everyone felt it.
I was busting with too much emotion that night that I think it tired me out because I wanted to type all of this then, but when I got home at 2pm I just fell on my bed. I don't know how else to describe what I was feeling and I know this did not do justice to it. Damn it! I should have stayed awake...
Monday, January 7, 2008
Through the crisis
after the so-called crisis, am recovering now. some messages from my inbox during the 'storm'..pai: "it's easy to get something by means of hard working.. but it does no necessarily mean that you'll find happiness on it."
bom: "to walk is what i always do, i prefer not to look back to people who's no longer walking with me.."
ole: "jealousy is an emotional disease, get well soon!"
nix: "if loyalty is a product of honesty, then why do others lie?"
cuz: "that person helped me forget my sad story and yet, that person also started another one.."
rr: "you broke my world, but you made me stronger!"
bird: "if you need me, i need someone too. and am sorry.. it's not you!"
andi: "you can not hurt someone who feels nothing special to you.. you can not be hurt by someone unless that person is somewhat special for you.."
ms.joey: "it's the silence that tells it all. sometimes it's not about the yelling and the tears. all it takes is for 2 people to sit beside each other and feel that something is wrong, that what was there before isn't there anymore. that they're miserable when they're apart but they're worse when they're together. and that there are only 2 options left.. either they sit still and ignore the pain or one of them gathers enough courage to stand up and walk away.."
cathy: "self-respect."
junelle: "strong walls will shake but will never collapse."
lee: "when you go out of the real world, make sure someone is holding your hand."
bro: "the more things change, the more they stay the same. and sometimes change is good."
anonymous: "i'd rather love someone who can hurt me but will heal the pain than someone who can heal the pain but will hurt me."
b: "you can not hold it too long because if you do, you won't make it out alive."
ainee: "why am i here?"
joni: "find. replace. forget. accept."
myself: "to run after the person who left them or wait til they come back?"
bom: "to walk is what i always do, i prefer not to look back to people who's no longer walking with me.."
ole: "jealousy is an emotional disease, get well soon!"
nix: "if loyalty is a product of honesty, then why do others lie?"
cuz: "that person helped me forget my sad story and yet, that person also started another one.."
rr: "you broke my world, but you made me stronger!"
bird: "if you need me, i need someone too. and am sorry.. it's not you!"
andi: "you can not hurt someone who feels nothing special to you.. you can not be hurt by someone unless that person is somewhat special for you.."
ms.joey: "it's the silence that tells it all. sometimes it's not about the yelling and the tears. all it takes is for 2 people to sit beside each other and feel that something is wrong, that what was there before isn't there anymore. that they're miserable when they're apart but they're worse when they're together. and that there are only 2 options left.. either they sit still and ignore the pain or one of them gathers enough courage to stand up and walk away.."
cathy: "self-respect."
junelle: "strong walls will shake but will never collapse."
lee: "when you go out of the real world, make sure someone is holding your hand."
bro: "the more things change, the more they stay the same. and sometimes change is good."
anonymous: "i'd rather love someone who can hurt me but will heal the pain than someone who can heal the pain but will hurt me."
b: "you can not hold it too long because if you do, you won't make it out alive."
ainee: "why am i here?"
joni: "find. replace. forget. accept."
myself: "to run after the person who left them or wait til they come back?"
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Mo money...Mo problem
This world is complicated nowadays... imagine this, many people just sit around and practically do nothing but yet they still dream of earning money... that's sick man.. come on.. that makes no sense.. no wonder a lot of people got tricked by get rich quick SCAMS!!! why did this happen... well you know why?? some people are so selfish and think that having a degree/diploma/etc is enough to survive in the world today... people might have never noticed that 'financial knowledge' is indeed important for every human being on the planet no matter age... they'll say why bother learning about money?? i know how to count money .. that's enough .. there's nothing more to money then knowing how to count.. WELL THAT TYPE OF ATTITUDE WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!!!
...money comes and goes right? you work for money and then you spend it... imagine you are a college student right now.. one day you got lucky and suddenly won a lucky draw of 1 million .. that's a lot... well maybe for some people is alot.. well not for me.. huh.. then what do you do with the 1million?? of course you'll spend it right.. maybe buy a car, big house, treat friends, and many other things that might not benefit you... eventually the 1million will be gone...
...you could always save the money in the bank (which will get you nowhere with the small dividend you get from the bank every year). this is considered smart (for some people that is).
...you could learn and gain financial knowledge and then you will know what to do with the money to make it benefit you... sounds good right.. but you see, learning is a never ending story.. so don't expect to learn financial wisdom in a month or just read from textbooks or whatever... try to practice it in a way you think is suitable for you... bear in mind that the trick is to "make money work for you" but most of the people today are slaves of their master they call money... So what do you do know???
...money comes and goes right? you work for money and then you spend it... imagine you are a college student right now.. one day you got lucky and suddenly won a lucky draw of 1 million .. that's a lot... well maybe for some people is alot.. well not for me.. huh.. then what do you do with the 1million?? of course you'll spend it right.. maybe buy a car, big house, treat friends, and many other things that might not benefit you... eventually the 1million will be gone...
...you could always save the money in the bank (which will get you nowhere with the small dividend you get from the bank every year). this is considered smart (for some people that is).
...you could learn and gain financial knowledge and then you will know what to do with the money to make it benefit you... sounds good right.. but you see, learning is a never ending story.. so don't expect to learn financial wisdom in a month or just read from textbooks or whatever... try to practice it in a way you think is suitable for you... bear in mind that the trick is to "make money work for you" but most of the people today are slaves of their master they call money... So what do you do know???
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Should I be happy...
Have you ever felt stupid because of someone? And because of what you feel for that person? I used to think that being in love is a wonderful feeling and that being with someone is just like heaven. It feels good knowing that somehow someone loves you back in return. In the start of your relationship, everything seems to fit perfectly well for the both of you. You hardly notice each other's flaws. But then, in a span of time, you get to ask yourself if that person still sees your worth... Isn't it heart-breaking? Isn't it hurting knowing that you're with someone yet it feels like just as the same as you have no one. It's so stupid.
Sometimes, I think that I'd rather be alone. I could be happy with just friends around like I used to be. What's the use of being with that person when you can't be happy afterall? All I got are just heartaches and high hopes of what our relationship would be. I only got doubts and questions inside instead of being thankful, parang may kulang, I just dont know what, I mean I just cant explain what.. I guess I'm just expecting for something... People aren't all the same though...
Sometimes, I think that I'd rather be alone. I could be happy with just friends around like I used to be. What's the use of being with that person when you can't be happy afterall? All I got are just heartaches and high hopes of what our relationship would be. I only got doubts and questions inside instead of being thankful, parang may kulang, I just dont know what, I mean I just cant explain what.. I guess I'm just expecting for something... People aren't all the same though...
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Nothing Follows
...all good things come to an end.
Why is it that everytime you're in love, you're like so happy all the time. But then, once you go into a relationship, your mind would start to build up doubts about how your relationship will go. You'd have this fear inside--the fear of losing that very person you love at the moment. We cannot let that person stay how long we want them to stay. If that person truly loves you, he would stay without being asked to. If we lose that person, we are then captivated by sadness.
...all good things come to an end.
Just like every song has its last note. But it takes a while for the wounds to heal though. It takes a while to get used to the fact that you're together no more. All those holding hands while walking moments, the laughter, the sweet nothings, will make the pain even worse, knowing that the person who once made your life in a bliss left you with nothing but mess. Love is like that. It's not everytime that you're in it for happiness. Sometimes you also have to give in to its bitterness. So love maturely, not idealistically.
Why is it that everytime you're in love, you're like so happy all the time. But then, once you go into a relationship, your mind would start to build up doubts about how your relationship will go. You'd have this fear inside--the fear of losing that very person you love at the moment. We cannot let that person stay how long we want them to stay. If that person truly loves you, he would stay without being asked to. If we lose that person, we are then captivated by sadness.
...all good things come to an end.
Just like every song has its last note. But it takes a while for the wounds to heal though. It takes a while to get used to the fact that you're together no more. All those holding hands while walking moments, the laughter, the sweet nothings, will make the pain even worse, knowing that the person who once made your life in a bliss left you with nothing but mess. Love is like that. It's not everytime that you're in it for happiness. Sometimes you also have to give in to its bitterness. So love maturely, not idealistically.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
F*** resolutions
To Hell with New Year's resolutions!
F*** New Year's resolutions!I don't need a New Year to find a reason to resolve myself!
I think it pathetic to think that you have to force yourself to change in due part to one full revolution of the earth around the sun. It's maligned celestial self-righteousness and procrastination of an annual magnitude!
Although it may be a force for a change for the better for people all around the world, it shouldn't come to everyone as a surprise that there's a whole year to make resolutions and fulfill them!
It just doesn't make any sense, people!
Just my 2 cents in.
Happy New Year everyone! :D
F*** New Year's resolutions!I don't need a New Year to find a reason to resolve myself!
I think it pathetic to think that you have to force yourself to change in due part to one full revolution of the earth around the sun. It's maligned celestial self-righteousness and procrastination of an annual magnitude!
Although it may be a force for a change for the better for people all around the world, it shouldn't come to everyone as a surprise that there's a whole year to make resolutions and fulfill them!
It just doesn't make any sense, people!
Just my 2 cents in.
Happy New Year everyone! :D
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