sun up til sun down

Why do we end up getting hurt by the people we love? Why do we have to get hurt in the first place if we (us and the person we choose to love), really love each other? Why do we have to loose that love?

These questions take a life long journey to answer, but bits and pieces of these tend to get answered by the time we have our own little "moment". Let me share you mine...

Early this year, i met this person. We went out for a few months. I came to know part of the person because the person gave me permission to take a peak of what the person really is. The person would share thing from the past, kahit na sa tingin nya eh hindi magiging magandang pakinggan. I valued that honesty and trust, so in turn i also shared who really this person is. Sad to say sa tingin nya, I'm too good to be true, we even made a joke na sya yung devil at ako yung angel. Devil this person maybe, i chose to accept this person, his good side and his not so good side. The person accepted our "little world" and one day, we decided to call whatever's between us "special". Until the something happened.

The person suddenly lost track of "us" and began to detach itself from me. Here i learned the value of patience. If you really love somebody, learn to wait. How hard it may seem, have that discipline to stop and wait for the person. Its like having this journey together when you suddenly realize, your companion choses to walk slowly o just rest for a while. Have the courage to wait for your companion or until the person signals you to go on with him.

It hurts so much when you feel suddenly alone, when in fact you should not be because you know there is somebody special with you. And no matter how you wait, you still end up going through that journey alone. Masakit kung sa masakit, pero anong gagawin mo?

I will not answer the questions I've said above. I'll share with you may realizations instead.

That its not you, its him/her. For somebody who knows how to love, you're always careful not to hurt the person you love. Its like loving somebody the way you would love yourself. You're always careful on the things you do and you say so as not to cause the one you love hurt.

You are capable of loving. When relationship fails its nothing but normal to feel pain which no pain-killer can remedy. Each of us has our own way of recuperating. For some it takes weeks and months of wallowing to that sadness. But to a certain point you need to pick up your shattered pieces and start a new. Here i learned that there's nothing wrong with me. I know how to love. Yes i got hurt in the end but at least i know how to love. Some people do have relationships but actually not relating. (tama ba grammar?) Its ok wallow and be sad but when you've decided to pick up yourself, remember that you should be proud because you showed them that you know how to love, and that you are capable of loving and knowing its true meaning.

So this is say to you reading and to myself as well: Don't be afraid to love again. Yes you got hurt but that's just the now, remember that there is tomorrow. Somebody is there making its way to your life so you have to prepare. Remember the lessons you've learned and use these lessons to your advantage but always allow yourself to commit mistakes for in those mistakes are new lessons to be learned. Never harbor ill feelings to those people who have caused you pain, they just don't know how it is to love. Be brave, the sun raises tomorrow.