I never thought that a night could last forever. I never deemed that a single smile could run a thousand mile, a single stare could get a foot deep into my soul, a single touch could take me to cloud nine, and a single kiss could warm my below-zero degree freezing heart.
The sky is bluer than the ocean. The wind is colder than the spring. The sun is happier than the clown. Everything is gulping the air as if my emotions are nurturing them to envisage a perfect world for me. That night perfected my day as well as the coming days. The future was indistinct, but that very night was the realization of my future to clear its horizons.
Was it how you intimately held my hand that made me feel weak, that I could not even grab a pen and stroke the words “I like you”? Was it how you closely pressed your body against mine that I could not even bother to keep my distance from you? Was it how you whispered the words “I wanted to see you everyday” that made me keep on looking for you? Was it how you smiled at me that keeps me wanting to gaze another sunshine? Was it how you passionately kissed my lips that made me ask for more? Or was it the song “I’m yours” that was played over and over again that made our souls promise that we belong to each other?
Now, my days are hiding and my nights are pleading. My heart is screaming with misery. My lips are craving for your name and my mind is flying towards your existence. I am now holding one fixation, and that is the memory of a night that I will keep for eternity.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
EARTH HOUR
On March 31,2007, Australia launched the EARTH HOUR. 2.2 million people and 2100 businesses in Sydney turned off their lights for one hour. This collective effort reduced the country’s energy consumption by 10.2% for one hour. The world was captivated by the efforts of Sydneysiders. This 2008, the world will be participating in this event to further awareness on Global Warming and to save and reduce more energy consumption.
Here in the Philippines we dedicated to support this global movement by turning off lights on March 29,2008 at 8 to 9 pm throughout the country. Now, If you are a Filipino, aware of Global Warming or someone who care for the environment, then you should TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS ON MARCH 29,2008 FROM 8 TO 9 PM. 60 minutes without lights will not cost you a dime. Why doubt. Be aware. Spread the news. Participate to save more energy.
The main point of the campaign is to show people and companies how easy it is to take action against global warming. This does not mean you have to turn off your refrigerator, which could be inconvenient. It is only encouraged to switch off your non-essential lights to make a statement and then changing our electric consumption habits in the long term
Let us dedicate an hour for Mother Earth. Save on resources and lessen carbon dioxide emissions.
Let us each do our part and stop global warming today!
Here in the Philippines we dedicated to support this global movement by turning off lights on March 29,2008 at 8 to 9 pm throughout the country. Now, If you are a Filipino, aware of Global Warming or someone who care for the environment, then you should TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS ON MARCH 29,2008 FROM 8 TO 9 PM. 60 minutes without lights will not cost you a dime. Why doubt. Be aware. Spread the news. Participate to save more energy.
The main point of the campaign is to show people and companies how easy it is to take action against global warming. This does not mean you have to turn off your refrigerator, which could be inconvenient. It is only encouraged to switch off your non-essential lights to make a statement and then changing our electric consumption habits in the long term
Let us dedicate an hour for Mother Earth. Save on resources and lessen carbon dioxide emissions.
Let us each do our part and stop global warming today!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Globally heard
105.9 MIX F.M. will target Davao City’s young and active radio listeners who have an affinity for quality entertainment. They are “the good crowd” and the most inclined to find MIX F.M. the best radio station to represent their lifestyle.
We are Davao's Top Choice for a better radio experience. Our compelling passion to offer INNOVATIVE, CREATIVE, SENSIBLE and GLOBALLY COMPETITIVE RADIO for today's Davaoeños is our edge.
The 2004 People’s Choice for Best FM Station for Mindanao and the whole world—105.9 MIX FM.
We are the preferred FM Radio Station of Today’s Davaoeno.
Now we're GLOBALLY back and heard!
www.mixfm1059.com
Click:
http://202.133.204.70:88/broadwave.asx?src=1&kbps=32
We are Davao's Top Choice for a better radio experience. Our compelling passion to offer INNOVATIVE, CREATIVE, SENSIBLE and GLOBALLY COMPETITIVE RADIO for today's Davaoeños is our edge.
The 2004 People’s Choice for Best FM Station for Mindanao and the whole world—105.9 MIX FM.
We are the preferred FM Radio Station of Today’s Davaoeno.
Now we're GLOBALLY back and heard!
www.mixfm1059.com
Click:
http://202.133.204.70:88/broadwave.asx?src=1&kbps=32
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Pretty mental
For all of my life, I have never known myself to be a proud person. Honestly, I couldn't imagine myself being proud. For one thing, I don't have anything to be proud of. I loathed boasting but being proud isn't all about boasting. You can be proud in many different ways. Having pride isn't bad, but too much always is. Today, my big boss of mine said that people who try to impress others a lot are most likely to be proud. That struck me. Lately, I haven't been my usual carefree self. I may still seem normal to others but it is only I who can know how I really feel. My face doesn't show it but I feel terrible. I felt like I just had to compete with everyone, be better. I know I could never be better than anyone at anything. I'm mediocre. It is what it is.
I tried my best in a way that involves thinking badly of people. These people I'm talking about, are the people I'm merely jealous of. So, if I couldn't do better.....I just feel jealous and think badly of them? NO! I shouldn't and I better not do that again. Every bit of me knows that what I'm doing, though not physically, is wrong. I'm hurting others in my mind. I feel guilty that these people are those that are kind to me and how do I repay them? Thinking badly of them and cursing (yes, cursing) them.
When I try to do my so-called best, I don't do so much good. Before, I used to do these things since I love them. Now, it's just for mere competition with others and not myself. I seemed to have lost every bit of humility I had. I just sicken myself in thinking of the horrible mental person that I've become. Doing your best with haste only to outshine others is wrong. All you'd do is the best of your worst.
All these, conclude that I am a mean, PROUD (in a bad way), insecure and jealous guy. I know that all people are insecure of some things and that it shouldn't get in their way. This could turn you into a person you wouldn't want to be. Having humility is very advantageous. You'd feel light and sleep well at night.
I just hope it wouldn't take control of me, again.
So today, I swallowed my pride, cleared my mind of all evil thoughts and felt better. Better but not so good. It seems like I haven't completely recovered. I'd always feel a pang of jealous
.........after reading this, you might think I'm pretty mental........I am! bleh
I tried my best in a way that involves thinking badly of people. These people I'm talking about, are the people I'm merely jealous of. So, if I couldn't do better.....I just feel jealous and think badly of them? NO! I shouldn't and I better not do that again. Every bit of me knows that what I'm doing, though not physically, is wrong. I'm hurting others in my mind. I feel guilty that these people are those that are kind to me and how do I repay them? Thinking badly of them and cursing (yes, cursing) them.
When I try to do my so-called best, I don't do so much good. Before, I used to do these things since I love them. Now, it's just for mere competition with others and not myself. I seemed to have lost every bit of humility I had. I just sicken myself in thinking of the horrible mental person that I've become. Doing your best with haste only to outshine others is wrong. All you'd do is the best of your worst.
All these, conclude that I am a mean, PROUD (in a bad way), insecure and jealous guy. I know that all people are insecure of some things and that it shouldn't get in their way. This could turn you into a person you wouldn't want to be. Having humility is very advantageous. You'd feel light and sleep well at night.
I just hope it wouldn't take control of me, again.
So today, I swallowed my pride, cleared my mind of all evil thoughts and felt better. Better but not so good. It seems like I haven't completely recovered. I'd always feel a pang of jealous
.........after reading this, you might think I'm pretty mental........I am! bleh
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Music and Me
love Music... It's My Life. There's a saying that says "A man who lives by the sword will die by the sword". Well it just might be that "I live by music and I'll die by Music". I am gifted with the curse of compassion that has rendered my life in complications. Repeatedly sacrificed my life and happiness for others, not thinking about the consequences in the future. Well it made my life quite excitingly fun. I was once an angel now turned somewhat bad. The human mind is a vast universe, mine is like seven legions and eons that I don't even comprehend myself. In short, I am different. My soul holds on to a truth that "Only the Strong will Survive". And my darkest hours are my greatest.
LET'S GET SERIOUS... I'm a true blooded Filipino born under the sign of Libra. The young version of myself is either a nerd or an angel admired for his mild manners and soft hands. Who thought that this angel would morph into an extreme musician... A Rocker. The blood of a pure rocker rose up and conquered my identity. I picked up my guitar and it became the window to my soul. I spilled my very own blood on my guitar making us one. The guitar either became a companion or a foe to me. It has been with me through good and bad. A time came when i decided to put down my strings and live a new life without it. years passed but still it lead me back to my six string buddy. Now though I seldom play the Axe on stage, no one will ever take away the gift that has been given me... The soul of a true Axeman... All "For the Love of God"
I like people who love music and all things wonderful in life and what makes a man happy. I have secrets to hide, but despise "Lies". I like to be friends with almost everybody but I am not that. I may mingle and blend in to almost any person that I can blend in with but my true friends are the humble and the peaceful ones. People who put themselves above others are my mortal enemies but i need not confront them. Most of the times the silent speaks more truth than the noisy ones. I believe in the phrase "Have pride in the things that are truly worth the praise". I may be common in many ways to other people but i tell you "I'm different". So to those who understand, I extend my hand. To the doubtful i ask, "take me as I am". I believe that death is not something to fear or be sorrowful about. For I believe that "If I die tomorrow, I'll be alright, because I believe that after were gone the spirit carries on". I believe in eternal life. I don't believe in the words "Till death do us part" for I believe there is eternal life after death. It's just a gateway to eternity.
You think I'm a serious man? Well you bet I am. It will take a lot of comprehension and understanding of me, so buckle up for the bumpy ride. Lastly a friendly advise... "Don't be afraid"... It's only God you have to fear
LET'S GET SERIOUS... I'm a true blooded Filipino born under the sign of Libra. The young version of myself is either a nerd or an angel admired for his mild manners and soft hands. Who thought that this angel would morph into an extreme musician... A Rocker. The blood of a pure rocker rose up and conquered my identity. I picked up my guitar and it became the window to my soul. I spilled my very own blood on my guitar making us one. The guitar either became a companion or a foe to me. It has been with me through good and bad. A time came when i decided to put down my strings and live a new life without it. years passed but still it lead me back to my six string buddy. Now though I seldom play the Axe on stage, no one will ever take away the gift that has been given me... The soul of a true Axeman... All "For the Love of God"
I like people who love music and all things wonderful in life and what makes a man happy. I have secrets to hide, but despise "Lies". I like to be friends with almost everybody but I am not that. I may mingle and blend in to almost any person that I can blend in with but my true friends are the humble and the peaceful ones. People who put themselves above others are my mortal enemies but i need not confront them. Most of the times the silent speaks more truth than the noisy ones. I believe in the phrase "Have pride in the things that are truly worth the praise". I may be common in many ways to other people but i tell you "I'm different". So to those who understand, I extend my hand. To the doubtful i ask, "take me as I am". I believe that death is not something to fear or be sorrowful about. For I believe that "If I die tomorrow, I'll be alright, because I believe that after were gone the spirit carries on". I believe in eternal life. I don't believe in the words "Till death do us part" for I believe there is eternal life after death. It's just a gateway to eternity.
You think I'm a serious man? Well you bet I am. It will take a lot of comprehension and understanding of me, so buckle up for the bumpy ride. Lastly a friendly advise... "Don't be afraid"... It's only God you have to fear
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
EMO plus
Close enough to punk and rock Emo is now know for it's more emotional state of mind. Instead of the anger hard-core way of expressing one-self , Emo (short for emotional) has taken a new tole on the twentieth century of expressing yourself. From the music with strong emotion and feeling, unlike hard rock or this is more of an alternative way to let your feeling be known.Emo is not only a classification or a type of music it's also taken over the way one expresses themselves by dressing. It includes the tighter fitting pants to the dyed-black or dark hair with it covering your face. The longer hair in front with the spikes in the back is also a more Emo- or emotional look to dressing. Emo is also being known as for the hot emo guys and emo girls kissing. From pictures all on the web to the music videos. Hot emo girl to girl and well as hot emo guy to guy is becoming more and more adventurous and more open concluding; Emo meaning being comfortable with oneself. Its a more direct way of altering the feelings one has without words, just emotion.
Some say music is not a type of music. That it is more of a fashion and a way of feeling, hence the emotional. Just recently people have been considering emo to be a genre or music.. Taking back Sunday is one of the many bands people consider to be emo.
Wondering why everyone hates emo? Not all emo people are cry babies or suicidal. Many emo kids come from families which are having serious issues whether it being money issues or what have you
What is emo to mean to you? Send me ur comments what it means to you and we will add your description.
Viewers Voice
Emo,yes it is short for emotional. But,there is more to emo then hair and looks. Emo is a state of mind. Most people,made them selves appear emo. While in reality,they have to much hope to be emo. Emo is much like goth. But,goth is Darker. Emo is more emotional,harder to fake. Yes,some em os cut themselves,but there is more than that. Emo is one of the hardest things,to explain. People hate em os,b/c they view us as suicidal,cry babies,or just week. That's NOT what emo is. Suicidal yes,at times. But,don't judge me for being emo. It's not what I chose to be. It's just what I am. - lee
Another says....
I think emo is just another label,but my definition of it will be for real.Personally,i used to cut,but I stopped.Take it from me.It's hard to stop!I am bi,but I'm not afraid of it!People shouldn't judge us for what we do and who we are.Emo is a music genre,but also a state of mind.If you're emo,don't be afraid of it.It's just who you are!It's perfectly normal to have a sensitive side,although I'm sassy sometimes.I'm really sensitive when 90% of the time.I love being who I am,though I get bullied alto.I don't care.Well,in my opinion,emo is just how people describe over-sensitive people.I write tons of poetry,and I'm in middle school.I am not ashamed to say I like girls,ever since I was 9,I have liked girls.I can't help how I feel! But over the summer,I've changed a bit.I'm not AS sensitive,but I still am.I don't let people put me down.Emo is just about being sensitive and expressing how you feel about something.If you get suicidal thoughts,talk to someone,trust me!Don't make the mistake I did.I am a lot better off without blades. andi
Some say music is not a type of music. That it is more of a fashion and a way of feeling, hence the emotional. Just recently people have been considering emo to be a genre or music.. Taking back Sunday is one of the many bands people consider to be emo.
Wondering why everyone hates emo? Not all emo people are cry babies or suicidal. Many emo kids come from families which are having serious issues whether it being money issues or what have you
What is emo to mean to you? Send me ur comments what it means to you and we will add your description.
Viewers Voice
Emo,yes it is short for emotional. But,there is more to emo then hair and looks. Emo is a state of mind. Most people,made them selves appear emo. While in reality,they have to much hope to be emo. Emo is much like goth. But,goth is Darker. Emo is more emotional,harder to fake. Yes,some em os cut themselves,but there is more than that. Emo is one of the hardest things,to explain. People hate em os,b/c they view us as suicidal,cry babies,or just week. That's NOT what emo is. Suicidal yes,at times. But,don't judge me for being emo. It's not what I chose to be. It's just what I am. - lee
Another says....
I think emo is just another label,but my definition of it will be for real.Personally,i used to cut,but I stopped.Take it from me.It's hard to stop!I am bi,but I'm not afraid of it!People shouldn't judge us for what we do and who we are.Emo is a music genre,but also a state of mind.If you're emo,don't be afraid of it.It's just who you are!It's perfectly normal to have a sensitive side,although I'm sassy sometimes.I'm really sensitive when 90% of the time.I love being who I am,though I get bullied alto.I don't care.Well,in my opinion,emo is just how people describe over-sensitive people.I write tons of poetry,and I'm in middle school.I am not ashamed to say I like girls,ever since I was 9,I have liked girls.I can't help how I feel! But over the summer,I've changed a bit.I'm not AS sensitive,but I still am.I don't let people put me down.Emo is just about being sensitive and expressing how you feel about something.If you get suicidal thoughts,talk to someone,trust me!Don't make the mistake I did.I am a lot better off without blades. andi
Monday, March 24, 2008
I'm back and I'm bored
9:00 in the morning, the usual "drowsy" near end of the day. Am so tired after much doing lenten activities, i thought of having a short break for awhile...just a tiny itsy bitsy quick rest will do just fine:)
So, here i go again writing down visual thoughts into an interactive black and white slate...but what am i to parlay this time?
-Politics?....*no not that!
-Science?....*Schools over dude.
-Algebra & Mathematics?...*Come on, were not even engineers :(
-History?.....*are we gonna talk dead things again?...get a life!
-Quantum Physics?....*Don't even dream were Rocket scientist or the sort :p
-Relationships?.......*hmmm is it social studies this time? well among the above choices lets tackle this one.
Relationships, the ever elusive commitment am searching for. I have wondered so many times how it feels to have someone really close?
And I'm referring to not just a friend, an acquaintance or a guardian but all in one aspect, in one character, in one person...someone you love.
Many of my friends said it's total bliss and some say it's a pain in the hind lol. Whatever they say i believe it is something more than those 2 definitions but a collage of mixed love, hate, care, understandings, misunderstandings, devotion, betrayal, humility, sacrifices, and decisions all brewed into one beautiful complex.
If you ask me it sounds entirely confusing however i think i have the notion what it really is...just pure relationship in the form of being as one.
*hey wait a minute, did you said as one?
-yes i did...
*what do you mean as one? you mean?
-Ok don't get funny ideas, let me explain...
Ahem...we have in the dictionary the word "Individual", a person, a single being, just one entity & nothing else. The word refers as a solitary figure doing just about the normal range of being itself.
*is this gonna take long?
-don't worry it wont.
Going back, we can verily describe ourselves as it just that concept but what if that so called individual finds another and its just so happens the uncanny manifest. Sparks fly, sweet sounding tune is heard everywhere and doesn't know
where it's coming from?
both entangled in a world of fascination between each other, the offering of gifts, twinkle in the eyes, head over heels...blah..blah...blah....this...that...you get the picture.
*What picture?
-Don't get me started...
And so when two people agree together, makes choices with congruence on both side's opinion we can suggest they act uniformly and when they do i can describe it in figurative language like they are in rhythm or in a harmonious synchronization of perpetual mutual ambiance of feelings and emotions in a non-satirical, non-tyrannical, non-dominant application of soothing regards in vice-versa that both does not promote deviations or any liable enormity that would hamper and antagonize the nexus in a depreciating, agonizing eventuality that would lead to total disastrous breakage of cresending happiness into a pitfall of paradox and irony that would succumb them both into a chasm of solitude, non-conformity and paranoia which is a total dis-integrating and crushing blow of dis-consolidation.
*.....uhh...huh..
-.....uhh...huh...what?
*....i said yeah right....whatever Einstein.
-you're pathetic.
But seriously in my own world, relationship is a gift. A gift that allows you to show your kindness and unconditional care to the other. A privilege that ultimately shows anyone or anybody the desire for care. I believe in every person there is so much caring deep within that needs to be brought about...its one of the process of allowing themselves to be "human".
In an over turn, Some can't handle relationships because some have not managed to allow themselves to be sincere...that is all. Relationship is about sincerity and humility, it does not tell whose right and whose wrong but the other way around. Knowing if the other is wrong and tries to correct the mistake in a humble manner. The way how one shows rectification in a loving way to the other, always and is always the best solution to any instability of every relationships.
I have always known this, yet fate has set aside this dream. All i could think is God is wanting me to focus on him first...i love God but i wonder what is his reason why he wants me to face the task single handedly or perhaps maybe just maybe facing the task alongside with him...just him and I both.
*now you're the one who sounds pathetic
-i am pathetic but i am well treasured from someone who has the most love of all.
*......no comment.
I honestly admit that my situation cuts both ways, and it's driving deep inside every time moments pass. I don't know maybe i feel too much no wonder i always feel like i'm heading straight to a broken heart even if my heart is in one piece. Maybe i'm being masochistic in a sense i got used to thriving to my angst but that scene was long ago, I'm a new person now. I don't feel like the way i do in heavy downpour anymore my life is already turning for the best and all is getting better and better......however i can't seem to figure out the missing part of me...the other half who has me....
*Dude...you lost me.
-are you even listening?
*just continue
There is nothing i can do as of now, i'm helpless with this predicament.hmmm...i feel awful when i do hahaha.
How i really wish i could say to myself one day all the funny words i spoke sometimes lie when love surprise, oh how i wish that comes true....like one in million chance.
*there is nothing wrong to dream, it's free..
-it sure is
*good luck
-Thanks i guess :(
I took the time to think it over and over like a never ending story, sober as i am in these days of dampness nevertheless i am happy as i am. At least i never have to do the most hardest lesson of all...
*and that is?
-"The art of letting go"
It scares me when i hear it, i mean when others have failed does it suggest i'm also inclined to it?
I think not, i'm not afraid coz i know how to care...even if its unfair.
*hail to Martyrdom!
You just don't get it do you? Relationships wont be possible if both haven't been in most sinking level. it's that part where their faithfulness is tested. It also brings about the inner passion if one decides to hold on for what he/she believes that the relationship is worth fighting for or far....dying for. Amidst the storm if both were really destined then no matter and no matter what they will always be unchanged.
*Unchanged?
-As they were, as they are and as they will be together like nothing happened...'unchanged".
I wish someone taught me early advices for the young at heart. Then perhaps i would have known which step to take not to be so in this ordeal. Sadly no one ever came but it's alright i have the whole wide world in my hand and
I could be happy right now, me and my shadow in make believe universe lol yeah i'm so full of it.
*Dude, i know some people you could talk to late at night on phone and they could lighten you up a bit
-heck, what are you taking me for?! I'm not that desperate!
*just want to help dude :D
In any case, relationships are meant to make people happy. there i made the story short.
*Dude, i wish you have said that earlier, now i understand you.
-....................................i can't even believe i'm talking to my alter-ego. It's a good thing nobody reads this blog.
*so what's the moral story?
-the moral story is, just be glad and content when you love someone...and do it sincerely.
*So what about you?
-As for me? i guess i'll just Follow my road where it leads me...i'm sure i'll get to stumble someone along the way.
Hmmm...time fly so quickly time for me to get ready for my boardwork! you know what i'm afraid, at least i have a load off my mind...thanks to this diary i feel a lot lighter.
*dude you forgot to thank me listening to your jargons:)
-Whatever.
So, here i go again writing down visual thoughts into an interactive black and white slate...but what am i to parlay this time?
-Politics?....*no not that!
-Science?....*Schools over dude.
-Algebra & Mathematics?...*Come on, were not even engineers :(
-History?.....*are we gonna talk dead things again?...get a life!
-Quantum Physics?....*Don't even dream were Rocket scientist or the sort :p
-Relationships?.......*hmmm is it social studies this time? well among the above choices lets tackle this one.
Relationships, the ever elusive commitment am searching for. I have wondered so many times how it feels to have someone really close?
And I'm referring to not just a friend, an acquaintance or a guardian but all in one aspect, in one character, in one person...someone you love.
Many of my friends said it's total bliss and some say it's a pain in the hind lol. Whatever they say i believe it is something more than those 2 definitions but a collage of mixed love, hate, care, understandings, misunderstandings, devotion, betrayal, humility, sacrifices, and decisions all brewed into one beautiful complex.
If you ask me it sounds entirely confusing however i think i have the notion what it really is...just pure relationship in the form of being as one.
*hey wait a minute, did you said as one?
-yes i did...
*what do you mean as one? you mean?
-Ok don't get funny ideas, let me explain...
Ahem...we have in the dictionary the word "Individual", a person, a single being, just one entity & nothing else. The word refers as a solitary figure doing just about the normal range of being itself.
*is this gonna take long?
-don't worry it wont.
Going back, we can verily describe ourselves as it just that concept but what if that so called individual finds another and its just so happens the uncanny manifest. Sparks fly, sweet sounding tune is heard everywhere and doesn't know
where it's coming from?
both entangled in a world of fascination between each other, the offering of gifts, twinkle in the eyes, head over heels...blah..blah...blah....this...that...you get the picture.
*What picture?
-Don't get me started...
And so when two people agree together, makes choices with congruence on both side's opinion we can suggest they act uniformly and when they do i can describe it in figurative language like they are in rhythm or in a harmonious synchronization of perpetual mutual ambiance of feelings and emotions in a non-satirical, non-tyrannical, non-dominant application of soothing regards in vice-versa that both does not promote deviations or any liable enormity that would hamper and antagonize the nexus in a depreciating, agonizing eventuality that would lead to total disastrous breakage of cresending happiness into a pitfall of paradox and irony that would succumb them both into a chasm of solitude, non-conformity and paranoia which is a total dis-integrating and crushing blow of dis-consolidation.
*.....uhh...huh..
-.....uhh...huh...what?
*....i said yeah right....whatever Einstein.
-you're pathetic.
But seriously in my own world, relationship is a gift. A gift that allows you to show your kindness and unconditional care to the other. A privilege that ultimately shows anyone or anybody the desire for care. I believe in every person there is so much caring deep within that needs to be brought about...its one of the process of allowing themselves to be "human".
In an over turn, Some can't handle relationships because some have not managed to allow themselves to be sincere...that is all. Relationship is about sincerity and humility, it does not tell whose right and whose wrong but the other way around. Knowing if the other is wrong and tries to correct the mistake in a humble manner. The way how one shows rectification in a loving way to the other, always and is always the best solution to any instability of every relationships.
I have always known this, yet fate has set aside this dream. All i could think is God is wanting me to focus on him first...i love God but i wonder what is his reason why he wants me to face the task single handedly or perhaps maybe just maybe facing the task alongside with him...just him and I both.
*now you're the one who sounds pathetic
-i am pathetic but i am well treasured from someone who has the most love of all.
*......no comment.
I honestly admit that my situation cuts both ways, and it's driving deep inside every time moments pass. I don't know maybe i feel too much no wonder i always feel like i'm heading straight to a broken heart even if my heart is in one piece. Maybe i'm being masochistic in a sense i got used to thriving to my angst but that scene was long ago, I'm a new person now. I don't feel like the way i do in heavy downpour anymore my life is already turning for the best and all is getting better and better......however i can't seem to figure out the missing part of me...the other half who has me....
*Dude...you lost me.
-are you even listening?
*just continue
There is nothing i can do as of now, i'm helpless with this predicament.hmmm...i feel awful when i do hahaha.
How i really wish i could say to myself one day all the funny words i spoke sometimes lie when love surprise, oh how i wish that comes true....like one in million chance.
*there is nothing wrong to dream, it's free..
-it sure is
*good luck
-Thanks i guess :(
I took the time to think it over and over like a never ending story, sober as i am in these days of dampness nevertheless i am happy as i am. At least i never have to do the most hardest lesson of all...
*and that is?
-"The art of letting go"
It scares me when i hear it, i mean when others have failed does it suggest i'm also inclined to it?
I think not, i'm not afraid coz i know how to care...even if its unfair.
*hail to Martyrdom!
You just don't get it do you? Relationships wont be possible if both haven't been in most sinking level. it's that part where their faithfulness is tested. It also brings about the inner passion if one decides to hold on for what he/she believes that the relationship is worth fighting for or far....dying for. Amidst the storm if both were really destined then no matter and no matter what they will always be unchanged.
*Unchanged?
-As they were, as they are and as they will be together like nothing happened...'unchanged".
I wish someone taught me early advices for the young at heart. Then perhaps i would have known which step to take not to be so in this ordeal. Sadly no one ever came but it's alright i have the whole wide world in my hand and
I could be happy right now, me and my shadow in make believe universe lol yeah i'm so full of it.
*Dude, i know some people you could talk to late at night on phone and they could lighten you up a bit
-heck, what are you taking me for?! I'm not that desperate!
*just want to help dude :D
In any case, relationships are meant to make people happy. there i made the story short.
*Dude, i wish you have said that earlier, now i understand you.
-....................................i can't even believe i'm talking to my alter-ego. It's a good thing nobody reads this blog.
*so what's the moral story?
-the moral story is, just be glad and content when you love someone...and do it sincerely.
*So what about you?
-As for me? i guess i'll just Follow my road where it leads me...i'm sure i'll get to stumble someone along the way.
Hmmm...time fly so quickly time for me to get ready for my boardwork! you know what i'm afraid, at least i have a load off my mind...thanks to this diary i feel a lot lighter.
*dude you forgot to thank me listening to your jargons:)
-Whatever.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Forgive and Forget
As followers of Christ, our character should mirror His character. We should be helpful to one another, kind and tender toward one another, understanding and loving. Most of all, we should be extending forgiveness to one another in the same way that Christ extends forgiveness toward us. In other words, forgive unconditionally. Many times, people won’t forgive until the other person says they are sorry. Or, they won’t forgive because they think somehow they are punishing the other person or giving them what they deserve. But the only person that is hurt by your un forgiveness is you. When you hold un forgiveness, you can’t be forgiven by God, and you are the one locked up in the hurt and pain. Don’t hold un forgiveness any longer! Forgiveness simply begins with a choice to obey God’s command. When you open your heart to forgiveness, you open your heart to God’s healing and restoration in your life. Make the choice today to forgive others—readily and freely—as God in Christ forgave you!
Have a Blessed Holy Wednesday.
Have a Blessed Holy Wednesday.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Up Above
What are you looking at today? Are there challenges in your life to overcome? Don’t just look at your problems day in and day out, lift up your eyes and look toward heaven. You will naturally move in the direction that your eyes are looking. If you are always looking at your problems—meditating on them, feeling sorry for yourself, telling everybody about them—you will become consumed by them. But when you look up, your life will start to move up. When you keep your eyes on Jesus, it is also a sign of your faith and expectancy. The Bible tells us that faith is what moves the hand of God. When you have an attitude of faith and expectancy, you open the door for His power in your life. Decide today to focus on the goodness of our God. Lift your eyes and heart to Him and begin to praise Him with your words. As you lift your eyes, your help will come, and you will live the victorious life He has in store for you!
Have a Blessed Holy Tuesday.
Have a Blessed Holy Tuesday.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Remain in HIM
"Have you ever thought about the relationship between the branch and the vine? We don’t use these kinds of word pictures very much anymore, but think about it--if the branch is not attached to the vine, it withers and dies. The branches’ very life depends on it being attached to the vine. The same thing happens if we try to operate in this life without Jesus. Without Him, we can do nothing. We are cut from our life source. But when you remain in Him, by daily connecting with Him through prayer and worship then your life will be fruitful. You’ll walk in joy and blessing. I love that this verse says "much fruit", which means you will have an abundant harvest in your life. God doesn’t want you to just barely get by. He wants to overwhelm you with His goodness. Remain in Him today. Choose to make Him top priority, and you’ll see His hand of blessing operating in every area of your life!"
Have a Blessed Holy Monday.
Have a Blessed Holy Monday.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Crazy Sick People
One day a friend of mine was sharing to me her not so good experience with a nasty friendster she has encountered on her space. This "person" (a HE) has conveniently browse on every single photo she has and loves to make nasty comments to people who have posted comments on those photos? he would be taking his own time out checking and browsing like a stalker and whenever he saw comments that he might not like it, lo and behold! he strikes hahaha. . what a total wreck! and not only once he did but my friend says oftentimes. . .She was so upset that she accosted this person and funny was? the person (through messaging) just readily says; sorry! you cant take jokes can you? - - DUH! the nerves to say this to a lady hahaha! where are your balls man! She was really upset that she decided to remove this person from her circle of friends. When I asked if she regretted her action? she did not hesitate to answer back; disrespectful and nasty people have no room in my space. . . well said sister, bravo! what a price for him to pay!
It is really disturbing to see that there are people who have nothing nice to say and nothing good to do and just shows how moron they are in this space. And worst is? in their desperation to be noticed by everyone (get to notice him kasi!!) conveniently throw nasty nauseating words against people that they merely know or didn't know at all? "Friendster" is suppose to be synonymous with bridging, bonding, fostering, knowing, meeting and maybe eventually making solid friendships along the way till the end! Tsk, tsk, you guys just don't realize the joy that this space brought to us. We are so privileged to have this space where we can freely connect and get in touch with friends regardless how far or near these people are to us, this obviously and surely shortens the distance between friends but then there are still useless people around who abuse it and sadly abuse it in expense of others too. Hey, you!. . .yes you - nasty friendster. . If you have nothing nice to say towards other people in this space? or if you have nothing good to do and just disrespect others ? Man! am telling you, what goes around comes around. You are not a kid anymore, are you!! (What a shame, coz even the real kids here in this space are behaving well??) And if you extract excitement and happiness by doing unlikely things towards people? Man! you're sick, not just sick but damn sick and you better see your psychiatrist before it's too late and keep your sanity.
Mind your act, be responsible of your action, youd don't want to end up in the gutter either do you! Do not wait for the time that your remaining friends will one by one spam or remove you from their spaces coz you are damn f----n asshole (my apology of saying so!) You are not worth to be called a friend, not even as an acquaintance. People will not not hesitate to remove you from their space if you are really misbehavin. .
Siggh! crazy sick people. . . i hope they will not proliferate in this world.
"FRIENDS ARE TRULY PERKS TO OUR LIVES AND THAT WE MUST CHERISH IT"
It is really disturbing to see that there are people who have nothing nice to say and nothing good to do and just shows how moron they are in this space. And worst is? in their desperation to be noticed by everyone (get to notice him kasi!!) conveniently throw nasty nauseating words against people that they merely know or didn't know at all? "Friendster" is suppose to be synonymous with bridging, bonding, fostering, knowing, meeting and maybe eventually making solid friendships along the way till the end! Tsk, tsk, you guys just don't realize the joy that this space brought to us. We are so privileged to have this space where we can freely connect and get in touch with friends regardless how far or near these people are to us, this obviously and surely shortens the distance between friends but then there are still useless people around who abuse it and sadly abuse it in expense of others too. Hey, you!. . .yes you - nasty friendster. . If you have nothing nice to say towards other people in this space? or if you have nothing good to do and just disrespect others ? Man! am telling you, what goes around comes around. You are not a kid anymore, are you!! (What a shame, coz even the real kids here in this space are behaving well??) And if you extract excitement and happiness by doing unlikely things towards people? Man! you're sick, not just sick but damn sick and you better see your psychiatrist before it's too late and keep your sanity.
Mind your act, be responsible of your action, youd don't want to end up in the gutter either do you! Do not wait for the time that your remaining friends will one by one spam or remove you from their spaces coz you are damn f----n asshole (my apology of saying so!) You are not worth to be called a friend, not even as an acquaintance. People will not not hesitate to remove you from their space if you are really misbehavin. .
Siggh! crazy sick people. . . i hope they will not proliferate in this world.
"FRIENDS ARE TRULY PERKS TO OUR LIVES AND THAT WE MUST CHERISH IT"
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Of Love and Threshold
Most often people have their own fantasy of their lovelife. What you want your partner to look like, your perfect date or how your want your wedding to be. Down to the smallest detail like where you want your wedding, how beautiful your wedding dress is or even what kind of souvenier you plan to give out. We'd also think of what we think we can endure when it comes to love.
As we go through life and experience things of all sorts, we surprise ourselves at how we alter our dreams and exceed what we thought was our threshold for pain.
After a breakup, we'd cry rivers of tears and decide that we can't live without our partners. We'd often cry out that we can't take anymore. But when time has passed and memories forgotten, we'd fall for another and a new threshold is set. As long as we chose to open our hearts and free ourselves from the web of past pains, we continue to love and let ourselves be loved - a new threshold is set.
When we look back at how far our current level is at, it may surprise you that it's very different from how you once imagined yourself. But when will it stop? How will one know if they've already reached the limit? Or is there any limit at all?
I guess the answer would be, if you're with the person who loves you and treats you right, makes you happy and supports you when you're weakened, comforts you, never lies and hurt you, there's really no levels or limits.
We simply hope that the person you're morphing yourself for is the right one, otherwise I think it would be a shame to lose yourself for someone who won't be there for you till the end.
As we go through life and experience things of all sorts, we surprise ourselves at how we alter our dreams and exceed what we thought was our threshold for pain.
After a breakup, we'd cry rivers of tears and decide that we can't live without our partners. We'd often cry out that we can't take anymore. But when time has passed and memories forgotten, we'd fall for another and a new threshold is set. As long as we chose to open our hearts and free ourselves from the web of past pains, we continue to love and let ourselves be loved - a new threshold is set.
When we look back at how far our current level is at, it may surprise you that it's very different from how you once imagined yourself. But when will it stop? How will one know if they've already reached the limit? Or is there any limit at all?
I guess the answer would be, if you're with the person who loves you and treats you right, makes you happy and supports you when you're weakened, comforts you, never lies and hurt you, there's really no levels or limits.
We simply hope that the person you're morphing yourself for is the right one, otherwise I think it would be a shame to lose yourself for someone who won't be there for you till the end.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Unstable Persona
At one time, all is going well….that’s what I thought. How many times do we really see reality and when it knocks, we try hard not to open its doors for we are scared of facing its undeniable truth. How many times do we trust our instincts and ended up making wrong moves? Defense mechanism…that’s all it is. Hiding from reality and forcing to show a face of a strong being. Projection---- others are not aware that many people project their frustrations and disappointments to a completely unaware person. What good does it do? Then at another time, we seem to act on impulse, decide on impulse without rattling our brains and taking as an example time thinking on what is the right thing to do…..IMPULSIVENESS!! SELF-CONTRITENESS!
I can say that I’m an unstable sort of man, not knowing what I want in life…I’m constantly fighting traumas in my life. I say this blah blah… but did I actually say those things? ----What’s the outcome?--Hurting the people I love the most because I just think about myself too much, I can’t decide on my own, I’m gullible and I’m easily manipulated. I am scared of following my heart’s desire. Isn't’t it nice that one has to go through dark roads before seeing your true self? Crossroads they call it. One has to choose only one and choosing the wrong path changes everything. It can either offer joy or despair. Whichever way it is, no one is to be blamed but ourselves.
What to do next? Hold on to the lessons learned and move on until we can take a mature step again and never stumble again. Losing a loved one is not really losing the memories. All will remain within us. We’ll just have to cling to those memories and use it for making us stable again.
I can say that I’m an unstable sort of man, not knowing what I want in life…I’m constantly fighting traumas in my life. I say this blah blah… but did I actually say those things? ----What’s the outcome?--Hurting the people I love the most because I just think about myself too much, I can’t decide on my own, I’m gullible and I’m easily manipulated. I am scared of following my heart’s desire. Isn't’t it nice that one has to go through dark roads before seeing your true self? Crossroads they call it. One has to choose only one and choosing the wrong path changes everything. It can either offer joy or despair. Whichever way it is, no one is to be blamed but ourselves.
What to do next? Hold on to the lessons learned and move on until we can take a mature step again and never stumble again. Losing a loved one is not really losing the memories. All will remain within us. We’ll just have to cling to those memories and use it for making us stable again.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
BEHAVE
hyper sad kaayo ni xa oi!"
"samok mars, ayaw pag cge og binata!"
"pagpuyo bah! samuk kaayu ka..."
Few of the things said to me whenever i have lots of sugar in my body... meaning everytime i feel so happy about something that i couldn't contain myself, that i don't know what to do... i know lots of people get annoyed with me... with my presence... well can't blame them... even the very people i expect to like me, unfortunately, don't (especially when my energy reaches its summit!)... but i ain't saying that i hate them or i don't like them anymore or something like that... in fact, i really appreciate the fact that they get really patient with me... i am no day at the beach... i am a very extreme person... when i'm happy, i get EXTREMELY happy... when i'm sad, i get REALLY sad to the point that i cry even for the things that aren't worth crying (like imaginations)... when i'm angry, i shout!!! i'll let you know that i don't like something... the problem is that i don't talk (ooows?!)... i don't know how to communicate what i don't want, why i don't want that... i don't wanna explain things... i want you to figure it out... FIGURE IT OUT!! see? being with me is never and never will be a picnic... but i am exerting efforts, and i mean EFFORTS, here... i'm really trying to behave the way i should behave... and then i get so excited about things and then this child inside me pops out of nowhere... i'm sorry about that... ok? just give me more time... c: well anyways, thanks a lot guys for being with me and for extending your patience...
no offense here to anyone... just blogging to let SOME of it out...
"samok mars, ayaw pag cge og binata!"
"pagpuyo bah! samuk kaayu ka..."
Few of the things said to me whenever i have lots of sugar in my body... meaning everytime i feel so happy about something that i couldn't contain myself, that i don't know what to do... i know lots of people get annoyed with me... with my presence... well can't blame them... even the very people i expect to like me, unfortunately, don't (especially when my energy reaches its summit!)... but i ain't saying that i hate them or i don't like them anymore or something like that... in fact, i really appreciate the fact that they get really patient with me... i am no day at the beach... i am a very extreme person... when i'm happy, i get EXTREMELY happy... when i'm sad, i get REALLY sad to the point that i cry even for the things that aren't worth crying (like imaginations)... when i'm angry, i shout!!! i'll let you know that i don't like something... the problem is that i don't talk (ooows?!)... i don't know how to communicate what i don't want, why i don't want that... i don't wanna explain things... i want you to figure it out... FIGURE IT OUT!! see? being with me is never and never will be a picnic... but i am exerting efforts, and i mean EFFORTS, here... i'm really trying to behave the way i should behave... and then i get so excited about things and then this child inside me pops out of nowhere... i'm sorry about that... ok? just give me more time... c: well anyways, thanks a lot guys for being with me and for extending your patience...
no offense here to anyone... just blogging to let SOME of it out...
Monday, March 10, 2008
What do i have
We all have past, let us not forget that. Whatever and Wherever we are right now, we were led here by our past decisions, by the way how we dealt with our circumstances and how we lived our so called life..it’s the same factors that will brought us to our future.
But the question is, what do we have from our past that played a major role on our current state? Have we followed the rules? Have we done the right decisions? Do we have disappointments as a result of those decisions we made?
We may or may not acknowledge it but we all made mistakes , we all fail one way or another. But we are in charge of our lives and it’s up to us to make things better or bitter. I have my own share of failures, I have my own shortcomings , but nevertheless I have no regrets. If have to live all over again I will take the same path , probably make the same decisions that I did in the past.
Im only saying ... I am happy now maybe not too happy, I don’t have everything in life, I haven’t gone to so many places to see the beauty of the other side of the world, and haven’t tasted a lot of different foods, and my bank account doesn’t even have a six figures but it’s not what matters to me..... What matters to me is YOU. With that, I have all the happiness that life can bring...
But the question is, what do we have from our past that played a major role on our current state? Have we followed the rules? Have we done the right decisions? Do we have disappointments as a result of those decisions we made?
We may or may not acknowledge it but we all made mistakes , we all fail one way or another. But we are in charge of our lives and it’s up to us to make things better or bitter. I have my own share of failures, I have my own shortcomings , but nevertheless I have no regrets. If have to live all over again I will take the same path , probably make the same decisions that I did in the past.
Im only saying ... I am happy now maybe not too happy, I don’t have everything in life, I haven’t gone to so many places to see the beauty of the other side of the world, and haven’t tasted a lot of different foods, and my bank account doesn’t even have a six figures but it’s not what matters to me..... What matters to me is YOU. With that, I have all the happiness that life can bring...
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Caught in between
Let me apologize to begin with...
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say...
It's hard to know something that you didn't want to know... The hardest part of it is when your friend is involved in it but you can't say it to her since the one that drop those words are a friend of your also... You try to hide it as much as possible to protect both of them but who are you fooling? in the end it will be you lying to yourself... Thinking that you've done a good job but no, you didn't... You just make someone's life more miserable, and you tolerate someone's stupidity... It feels like you've been caught between your lies and how the truth get in your way... and yet, guilt is your only companion with this..
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say...
It's hard to know something that you didn't want to know... The hardest part of it is when your friend is involved in it but you can't say it to her since the one that drop those words are a friend of your also... You try to hide it as much as possible to protect both of them but who are you fooling? in the end it will be you lying to yourself... Thinking that you've done a good job but no, you didn't... You just make someone's life more miserable, and you tolerate someone's stupidity... It feels like you've been caught between your lies and how the truth get in your way... and yet, guilt is your only companion with this..
Thursday, March 6, 2008
GTG
Is it wrong to terribly miss old things? i think nothing is wrong when one suddenly feels so empty. i believe a thing is never wrong as long as nobody gets hurt... it is only now that i am starting to feel this way, probably it was due to the piled up "kamalasan" i went through yesterday.... sad sad really.. who would have thought? so tired... i feel like i just want to rest... but worst of all i am emotionally sad... i think this blog started off with "missing stuff", now let's go back to that.i believe that you will have a period in your life that will either make you or break you... the past few days were quite different from the rest... i guess if things have not changed much then maybe i could still manage a smile.
it's been freaking mad, a bit lonelier, a bit better(maybe? not sure but yes i guess it did) not having L around.. it's kind of weird.. i mean how the feeling could go on. when you have your circle of friends and suddenly everything changes just because of hear says... Friendship, i thought is the most important thing in the world so how could some people easily ruin it? such a mess.. it's hard to admit to everyone else that i've been affected at how things went over the past few days.. although i am much content, happy and better now at the same time i ponder on what could have had happened if the things that happened before didn't really occurred.but why so, that just this week i've felt like crying over what happened. it is only now that i feel affected. really! i don't know how to say goodbye...
the person who's been always so kind to me and understanding despite my being rude, judgemental, mean.. i was unfair to this person and now i wonder how much kindness i've shown? or if i was ever kind? i was always mean, and always blaming all the things that's got to do with her painfully hurting me... but i honestly cared.. i was not able to show it though, because i don't know how.. and now i stop and think if that person will ever know how much i cared, or how much i appreciated every single kindness that was always there.. i guess though, i will never have that one more day, that one chance of letting that friend of mine know that to me she was a true friend... all i could do is just write these things out.
---gtg---
it's been freaking mad, a bit lonelier, a bit better(maybe? not sure but yes i guess it did) not having L around.. it's kind of weird.. i mean how the feeling could go on. when you have your circle of friends and suddenly everything changes just because of hear says... Friendship, i thought is the most important thing in the world so how could some people easily ruin it? such a mess.. it's hard to admit to everyone else that i've been affected at how things went over the past few days.. although i am much content, happy and better now at the same time i ponder on what could have had happened if the things that happened before didn't really occurred.but why so, that just this week i've felt like crying over what happened. it is only now that i feel affected. really! i don't know how to say goodbye...
the person who's been always so kind to me and understanding despite my being rude, judgemental, mean.. i was unfair to this person and now i wonder how much kindness i've shown? or if i was ever kind? i was always mean, and always blaming all the things that's got to do with her painfully hurting me... but i honestly cared.. i was not able to show it though, because i don't know how.. and now i stop and think if that person will ever know how much i cared, or how much i appreciated every single kindness that was always there.. i guess though, i will never have that one more day, that one chance of letting that friend of mine know that to me she was a true friend... all i could do is just write these things out.
---gtg---
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Finding Happiness
Why is it so hard to do something you know that you really need to do? Then, when you've already done it, you regretted doing it because it just feels so wrong...You know that you've done the right thing but it feels wrong to you because you're hurting inside... you have to make choices that you know is right and yet at the same time, wishing that you're not supposed to be right 'coz being right will only bring you pain... It would be best for you but you also know that you will be hurt in the process.. you should be able to face the pain because you know that everything will turn out better than you expected... You should be brave and stick with your decision no matter how painful it may be for you..
I believe that moving on and completely letting go the person that you love is one of the hardest things a person needs to do in order to start over.. but when you fall for a different person and try to gather all the pieces of your life that were scattered during the time when you're alone, the same thing happens.. it's just like a damn routine.. there's the getting to know stage.. after that stage, there is the "kilig " stage... then, you'll realize that you already love that certain person.. I believe that when it comes to that stage, that's the time when you feel that you must hold on to that feeling.. I was just like everybody else... i thought that finding someone new will make me forget about him and i thought i will be happy again.. well i was, but during that time, i felt like there's always something that's not right... at the end, i realized that before anything else, i must learn to let go of the past .. i realized that i can be happy if a want to even if I'm alone .. It's all about how you look at things.. If you really want to be happy, then find a way to be happy.
I believe that moving on and completely letting go the person that you love is one of the hardest things a person needs to do in order to start over.. but when you fall for a different person and try to gather all the pieces of your life that were scattered during the time when you're alone, the same thing happens.. it's just like a damn routine.. there's the getting to know stage.. after that stage, there is the "kilig " stage... then, you'll realize that you already love that certain person.. I believe that when it comes to that stage, that's the time when you feel that you must hold on to that feeling.. I was just like everybody else... i thought that finding someone new will make me forget about him and i thought i will be happy again.. well i was, but during that time, i felt like there's always something that's not right... at the end, i realized that before anything else, i must learn to let go of the past .. i realized that i can be happy if a want to even if I'm alone .. It's all about how you look at things.. If you really want to be happy, then find a way to be happy.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I'm in love...but you don't care
Ah, another entry on love and again. Remember the lines that go: And I'm aware...I'm in love but you don't care? Yep, you guessed it, my binding theme for this entry.
Honestly, I was quite hesitant to write about this because I feel quite strongly about the said lines. I didn't want to trash it or do it such vile injustice. But I also thought a lot of people would more or less relate to this topic because I guess at some point they had once "loved" a person who seemed to be utterly clueless and oblivious to the his or her affection. The one-sided phenomenon.
When you think you've fallen for someone, the only thing that seems to matter is for that person to approximately reciprocate the way you feel for him or her. You make that person like you. But sometimes that making-him-like-me process can be so excruciating! It's always a load of mind games and the over-analysis of things. Especially if you're like me who tends to shred everything into bits, every minute detail, nothing is spared. I view this so-called process as a challenge but sometimes, challenges aren't so fun anymore when the goal is too out of sight and out of reach. It's like quicksand. The more you struggle, the more you sink. It's standing on shaky ground, or in this case, no ground at all. No one's going to catch you. Maybe it's only for the stalwart-hearted and the strong-willed soul.
But in end, who enjoys pursuing someone who doesn't seem to give a damn? Who enjoys being hurt all too often? We reach a point where self-love enters the picture. We could choose to continue but we know we shouldn't. Maybe it's time to realize that not everything goes the way we it to regardless of how persistent we are.
I'm in love but you don't care. And knowing with all that was said, that nothing is enough, you should find in that enough reason to slowly let go. That you do deserve someone better. With love along with all its stupidity and beauty, there comes a point where you realize you don't want to listen to sad love songs, or watch drippy movies, or read schmaltzy stories, you want the real thing not a mere reflection of it. So there, it's time to stop. Stop not because you're hurting, not because you're sad, not because you're scared. BUT because YOU LOVE. More.
Honestly, I was quite hesitant to write about this because I feel quite strongly about the said lines. I didn't want to trash it or do it such vile injustice. But I also thought a lot of people would more or less relate to this topic because I guess at some point they had once "loved" a person who seemed to be utterly clueless and oblivious to the his or her affection. The one-sided phenomenon.
When you think you've fallen for someone, the only thing that seems to matter is for that person to approximately reciprocate the way you feel for him or her. You make that person like you. But sometimes that making-him-like-me process can be so excruciating! It's always a load of mind games and the over-analysis of things. Especially if you're like me who tends to shred everything into bits, every minute detail, nothing is spared. I view this so-called process as a challenge but sometimes, challenges aren't so fun anymore when the goal is too out of sight and out of reach. It's like quicksand. The more you struggle, the more you sink. It's standing on shaky ground, or in this case, no ground at all. No one's going to catch you. Maybe it's only for the stalwart-hearted and the strong-willed soul.
But in end, who enjoys pursuing someone who doesn't seem to give a damn? Who enjoys being hurt all too often? We reach a point where self-love enters the picture. We could choose to continue but we know we shouldn't. Maybe it's time to realize that not everything goes the way we it to regardless of how persistent we are.
I'm in love but you don't care. And knowing with all that was said, that nothing is enough, you should find in that enough reason to slowly let go. That you do deserve someone better. With love along with all its stupidity and beauty, there comes a point where you realize you don't want to listen to sad love songs, or watch drippy movies, or read schmaltzy stories, you want the real thing not a mere reflection of it. So there, it's time to stop. Stop not because you're hurting, not because you're sad, not because you're scared. BUT because YOU LOVE. More.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Review
After reviewing the last few entries in this blog, it seems to me that there's an undercurrent of sadness. I guess I've been really down in the dumps lately, and it's spilling over here. And while I know that this is my space and I can say and feel anything I want here, I've decided that I need to do something about the gloominess I've brought here because I'm not normally a gloomy person.
Time flies so quickly. Other times so slowly it feels painful to our minds and bodies. What amazes me sometimes is how things change and yet stay the same as the clock ticks away.Most of it would be kind of boring to write about, however. But since it's my blog and I can write whatever I want, I'll be boring.
Writing is my tool.. words are my sword. I will write as long as I want to. They say that no one can hurt you without you allowing them to, and true, you'll never know how much you love somebody until you see how much he can hurt you.
There is nothing wrong with loving a person but when our world stops because of that love, when we lose sight of our own selves because of our longing to be with someone, when we begin to compromise in favor of what our heart dictates, then we will lose our ability to act and think rationally and make sensible decisions.
At times I didn't know what to feel. But more than anything, I pitied myself... yes.. several times. I know I am accountable for everything I do, for all what's happening in my life. Nothing to blame but myself. I didn't have the slightest intention of hurting anyone, I was just being the best person I could be. But then again, I feel I am alone. All alone.
No one knows what the future holds for us. Let us make the best of today so we can always look back with a smile and look forward to tomorrow with hope of not making the same mistakes again and the hope of finding love that will last us our lifetime...
Time flies so quickly. Other times so slowly it feels painful to our minds and bodies. What amazes me sometimes is how things change and yet stay the same as the clock ticks away.Most of it would be kind of boring to write about, however. But since it's my blog and I can write whatever I want, I'll be boring.
Writing is my tool.. words are my sword. I will write as long as I want to. They say that no one can hurt you without you allowing them to, and true, you'll never know how much you love somebody until you see how much he can hurt you.
There is nothing wrong with loving a person but when our world stops because of that love, when we lose sight of our own selves because of our longing to be with someone, when we begin to compromise in favor of what our heart dictates, then we will lose our ability to act and think rationally and make sensible decisions.
At times I didn't know what to feel. But more than anything, I pitied myself... yes.. several times. I know I am accountable for everything I do, for all what's happening in my life. Nothing to blame but myself. I didn't have the slightest intention of hurting anyone, I was just being the best person I could be. But then again, I feel I am alone. All alone.
No one knows what the future holds for us. Let us make the best of today so we can always look back with a smile and look forward to tomorrow with hope of not making the same mistakes again and the hope of finding love that will last us our lifetime...
Sunday, March 2, 2008
6 months
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS
1. The person you love most will be the same person who will hurt you most. They will be your strength...but they will also be your weakness...
2. You can never change the world in one click of your fingers. It even took God seven days to make it, how can you top that?! But that doesn't mean you can't try, right?
3. If you want something to happen, you just can't wait until it happens. You have to MAKE IT HAPPEN!
4. Those who gamble the most, takes home the biggest prize. Those who don't even gamble are the biggest losers.
5. It pays to watch the news and be aware of current events. That way you know when to bring an umbrella and where to take the reroute to avoid traffic!
6. Secrets don't exist... You can never keep one no matter how hard you try! Same as white lies! They're still LIES... no matter what color you call them! Honesty, is and will always be the BEST policy! So elementary! :)
7. When you feel bad, CRY. When you feel sad, CRY. When you feel angry, CRY. When you feel lost, CRY. When you feel alone, CRY. It's okay to CRY, who said it isn't? Just make sure that you SMILE afterwards!
8. The bitterest tears are for those words left unspoken and actions left undone. SAY IT! DO IT! Before it's too late.
9. Other people's lives are NONE of your business, not unless they ask you to be in it! Mind your OWN business! Stop talking about other people's lives. It's due time that you HAVE YOUR OWN!
10. You don't go looking for love, love comes looking for you. Love always has a reason for coming and going. You can never ask it to come or force it to stay. You can only wait until it arrives, cherish it while it's there, and then let it go when the right time comes for it to go. If Love comes back, then that's when you truly call it your own. It's yours' to keep. Take care of it. Nurture it. Value it. And believe me, the rewards will be tenfolds. :)
1. The person you love most will be the same person who will hurt you most. They will be your strength...but they will also be your weakness...
2. You can never change the world in one click of your fingers. It even took God seven days to make it, how can you top that?! But that doesn't mean you can't try, right?
3. If you want something to happen, you just can't wait until it happens. You have to MAKE IT HAPPEN!
4. Those who gamble the most, takes home the biggest prize. Those who don't even gamble are the biggest losers.
5. It pays to watch the news and be aware of current events. That way you know when to bring an umbrella and where to take the reroute to avoid traffic!
6. Secrets don't exist... You can never keep one no matter how hard you try! Same as white lies! They're still LIES... no matter what color you call them! Honesty, is and will always be the BEST policy! So elementary! :)
7. When you feel bad, CRY. When you feel sad, CRY. When you feel angry, CRY. When you feel lost, CRY. When you feel alone, CRY. It's okay to CRY, who said it isn't? Just make sure that you SMILE afterwards!
8. The bitterest tears are for those words left unspoken and actions left undone. SAY IT! DO IT! Before it's too late.
9. Other people's lives are NONE of your business, not unless they ask you to be in it! Mind your OWN business! Stop talking about other people's lives. It's due time that you HAVE YOUR OWN!
10. You don't go looking for love, love comes looking for you. Love always has a reason for coming and going. You can never ask it to come or force it to stay. You can only wait until it arrives, cherish it while it's there, and then let it go when the right time comes for it to go. If Love comes back, then that's when you truly call it your own. It's yours' to keep. Take care of it. Nurture it. Value it. And believe me, the rewards will be tenfolds. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
