black or white

When we were younger, we could easily choose or decide what side we wanted to be in: black or white, left or right, A or B, yes or no: but as we grew older we learned that gray, middle, C and maybe exists. And sometimes we have to choose the gray, the middle, the C or the maybe and try to see things and somehow experience what would it be like before fully deciding on what side we really want. It's just like dipping your feet in the pool but still be able to get out of it as soon as you realized that the water's too cold for you.


So many things are going through my mind, im afraid of fully get in because im scared that i might get hurt yet im afraid of losing a spot so i decided to take my time thinking on another side.

While thinking, i went to other places to try my luck. I continuously dipped my feet in different resort hoping i'll find a resort somewhere else that will make me feel contented and happy, then suddenly i realized that i already found that resort, that the first resort i dipped my feet into was actually the resort that gave me what i'm looking for.

So i went back, but i found out that its too late, there was just enough room for one when i left and someone else took it. I had no choice but to go to other places and continue to seek for another resort hoping that i can still find aplace that can give me the happiness and satisfaction i was looking for. But nothing can give me the same feeling...

So i decided to go back to give it another try hoping that there will be a room for me this time, but no one's leaving, no one's coming out, and the only room left is on the sideline enough for my feet. So i spotted a little light and gave it another try, i dipped my feet again hoping for the best. I waited and waited but still it's not happening, no one's coming out, time's still not on my side. I know that i wanted and needed it so badly, so i have no choice but to wait hoping that someday, i will be given another chance as i promised myself that next time, i will definitely going in.

.........................................................................................................................................

But i waited long enough, i'm losing my patience and i felt like giving up; i realized it's not worth the time anymore and then i asked myself...---why are you still waiting for something you're not sure of when you can have something (that is willingly given to you) that can (somehow) give you happiness? Why not live with what you have and with what you can have and just be happy with it, than try to reach for something you know is leaning closer to impossible?

the end...